


Look at the Stars (Look How They Shine for You)

by coldwinterrose, Queerily_kai



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Marriage, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Recovery, Road Trips, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldwinterrose/pseuds/coldwinterrose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerily_kai/pseuds/Queerily_kai
Summary: In the aftermath of Siberia, Bucky makes a different choice.That choice sets in motion a chance for a happily ever after he never thought possible.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my submission for the Captain America Reverse Big Bang 2018!
> 
> I want to thank the people running the big bang for putting all of this together. This is my first time participating in a big bang challenge, and they made the process fun and enjoyable to be a part of.
> 
> I also want to give HUGE thanks to Queerily_kai, whose amazing art was a huge inspiration for me while writing this. You can find them [here](https://kaiwrites.tumblr.com/), as well as see their fantastic photography [here](https://acadiadventures.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> The title comes from the Coldplay song "Yellow" because I am unoriginal and cannot title things for the life of me.
> 
> Chapters should be posted about one or two a day until June 25th

It had been years of running and hiding, all the while trying to sort through the mess Hydra left in his head. Bucky, because he was Bucky now, for better or worse, was tired. So tired. Even before having to fight for his life against people who were accusing him of crimes, that for once he hadn’t actually committed; he had been exhausted. But after going through all of that, the fatigue he felt now was one that went deep into his bones. One that he felt would never really go away, no matter how many hours he slept. 

So it was for that reason he asked the scientists of Wakanda if it was possible to go back into cryo. At least there he could rest without living with the near constant fear of someone else coming after him. Sure, he told Steve it was because he didn’t trust his own mind. That was true, especially after having ten little words undo what small amount of progress he’d made at becoming a person again and not a weapon. 

But it was mostly the exhaustion, and the promise of rest, that caused him to crave the peace and stillness of the cryo chamber. 

There was one scientist however, who seemed to think it was the worst idea he’d ever had. 

It was right before he was to have the final physical to be sure that he would not suffer any ill effects of undergoing the deep freeze given the injuries that were still healing, that she approached him. 

“Hello, Sergeant Barnes. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Shuri, and I am the one in charge of all of this,” she gestured to the lab around them, where they were currently doing preparations on the chamber that would be Bucky’s home for the foreseeable future. “I was wondering if you would not mind having a word with me for a moment?”

Bucky nodded, and glanced at the chamber. “Is everything okay?”

Shuri scoffed, “With that, of course. It is a simple thing, took no time at all to figure out. No, Sergeant Barnes, I wanted to ask you why you want to undergo cryogenic stasis. I know you have discussed it with our doctors, but frankly I think it is the worst possible thing you can do.”

“Why?” he asked, “I thought this was a safer version of the tube Hydra stuffed me in.”

“As I said, the chamber is fine, totally safe, no problems with that. But, it is your reasons for wanting to go under that concern me. Frankly, Sergeant Barnes, it seems like you are just running away from your problems.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up. That was the last thing he expected to hear. “I see it as the opposite.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Well, I’ve been doing enough running for the past two years. Hiding both from the people who want to punish me for my crimes and from the people want me to commit more for them. At least in there they can’t get to me. Plus I can take a break from the horrors that live in my head.”

“That is my main concern. Yes, the chamber can put you in stasis, but it cannot undo the damage that has been done to your mind. All it can do for you is put off when you deal with those problems. You need time and space to heal, and you will not find those things in there.”

Bucky closed his eyes for a moment, then looked down at his hand. He knew she was right. “I… I’m scared. What if… what if it can’t be undone? What if I’ll always have the potential of becoming a mindless weapon again with just a few words? What if I’ve been fooling myself and that’s all I’ll ever be?”

“That is the other thing I wished to discuss with you. I believe it might be possible to undo the effects of the brainwashing that was done to you under Hydra.”

He looked up, eyes wide. “Really? How?”

Shuri smiled kindly. “I will not lie. It will take some time and a great deal of work both on our parts. But yes, I think it is very possible.”

“The time part is what worries me. What if someone is able to get to me and trigger me before we’re able to finish? I don’t want to be responsible for more lives lost. Not here, when you’re all already risking so much just letting me be here at all.”

At that Shuri laughed. “Sergeant Barnes, you are under the protection of the royal family of Wakanda. Nothing can touch you here. And I would be careful not to let the Dora Milaje overhear you doubting them, Okoye might take it as a person insult. No, Sergeant Barnes, I believe you are the safest you have ever been here. Especially if your captain stays as well. He seems very protective of you.”

At the mention of Steve, Bucky let out a small chuckle. “Protective might be an understatement. If… if you’re sure you can really fix my head, then…,” he took a deep breath, then nodded. “Yes. I’d like to try.”

“We cannot take away the nightmares, but I believe we are can give you back a small piece of your autonomy. I will inform the doctors of your decision, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Please, call me Bucky.”

Shuri smiled. “Bucky.”

As she walked away Bucky hoped he was making the right choice.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky and Steve talk and make plans.

Shuri was more than good for her word. 

She hadn’t lied when she said it wouldn’t be an easy process to undo the years of torture and trigger words ingrained in his head. It was months and months of therapy, treatments, and medications (which in itself was a small trial given his super soldier metabolism; making it a task to figure out dosages that would work but weren’t too strong or would wear off too quickly), but all that time and effort meant that Bucky was free from the worst of the effects the words had on him. When he heard them he still got headaches and nausea, but his mind would remain his own, something he would be forever grateful for. 

But not only did the Wakandans help free him from the prison in his mind, they also went above and beyond and ensured his freedom in the rest of the world as well. T’Challa had used his political pull with the UN, more considerable than that of General Ross or Tony Stark, and convinced them that the Accords were not the answer the world was looking for; the mess it very quickly became was evidence enough that it was not what was needed. 

He, along with Steve, who was under T’Challa’s and therefore Wakanda’s protection, also presented the full history of the Winter Soldier. How Bucky could not possibly be held accountable for the crimes he committed when he himself had been a prisoner of war, had been tortured and experimented on, had his whole sense of self wiped away. Of course, there were people who saw Bucky and the others involved as terrorists. Most, however, were able to see the truth from the lies and declared that they too were victims and innocent of all charges.

Which, honestly, left Bucky at a loss for what to do next. For so long he’d been living day to day, hour to hour, that he never saw a reason to have a long term plan for his future. There hadn’t been any reason to suspect he even _had_ a future worth planning for. 

Only now he did. One where he was free to do as he wanted, and the possibilities were so endless they almost made him dizzy to think about. 

Which is why, at that moment, he wasn’t thinking about it. Instead, he was enjoying what looked to be a beautiful night in the small village where he’d been sent for the peace and quiet Shuri had talked to him about, laying down on the ground outside and admiring the night sky above him. 

And what a beautiful sky it was. It was a cloudless night, so when you looked up it felt as though you could see into forever. Something about it tugged at a distant memory, but he would leave that for later. Now, he wanted to focus on the present and just be. 

After a while he heard the soft tread of feet coming toward him, and he smiled, knowing Steve’s walk anywhere.

The two hadn’t spent as much time together as might have been expected. Not for lack of wanting to on either of their parts, but the last few months had been busy for both men, to say the least. Bucky hoped that would change now that things finally seemed to be settling down for them. He’d missed Steve for so long, and he was looking forward to reconnecting with him, getting to know the man Steve had become over the years of their separation. 

Steve sat down next to him, looked over and smiled, but didn’t make a move to make any conversation beyond that. He seemed to need the peace and quiet as much as Bucky did at that moment. 

After a while though, that fragment of a memory started to become clearer to Bucky. “We used to do this, didn’t we?” 

Steve glanced over at Bucky. “Do what?”

“Sit outside and look at the stars.”

The sudden smile Steve gave him warmed him deep to his core. “Yeah, we did. You loved the stars, always went on about them. If your ma’d let you, you would’ve stayed up all night just staring up at the sky.”

“I remember reading books, about space. I think I even wanted to go up there?”

“Oh yeah, there were times you’d go on and on about wanting to go walk on the moon, see all the stars up close. Personally I never saw the appeal of all that, I was plenty fine looking at them from the safety of our building’s roof.”

“And… there was a meteor shower, right?”

Steve nodded. “I think it was called the Peri...something or other. It happened every summer and you’d always get so excited about it. You’d drag me up on that roof and we’d stay up as long as our moms would let us, watching the stars streak by.”

“The Perseids.” The memory came to Bucky in a jolt. He remembered begging, pleading with his mom to let him stay up to watch just one more hour. As he got older she would give in a little more, but as kids their parents wouldn’t let them stay up too late, not wanting them to be difficult in the morning.

“Yes, that was it!”

They both settled back to watch the sky again, until Steve was the one to break the silence this time a few moments later. “So, have you given anything thought about what you wanna do next?”

“I was thinking a shower and bed,” Bucky smirked. 

Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. “I was thinking more long term, Buck.”

“I… I don’t know. There’s just so much. It’s almost overwhelming.”

“I know what you mean. After the defrost I had all this time and money, and I couldn’t think of a thing to do with it.”

“What did you end up doing?”

“Bought a bike. Traveled out west for a bit, to see if the west coast was all they said it was.”

“Was it?”

“It was nice, but it wasn’t home.”

“I used to talk about us taking a trip. Wanting to see the east coast, right?”

“You did,” Steve confirmed. “When we were kids we had a neighbor who came from Boston, Mickey Connor. He always talked about how it was much nicer Boston. Said they had the best clam chowder ever. So you got it in your head that you wanted to see all of New England. Said it seemed much more reasonable then going out west and seeing the Grand Canyon or whatever, though I think you also wanted to prove Brooklyn was actually the best.”

Bucky chucked at that. At that point in his life he remembered thinking Brooklyn was the best place ever. Now, having seen more of the world than twelve year old Bucky ever dreamed possible, he was still sure that was the case, if only for the fact that it was home. 

He thought for a moment. “You know, kid me might have been onto something, because that doesn’t seem like a half bad idea. Could be fun.”

Steve nodded. “Could be.”

“Could be even more fun if you came with me… if you wanted, of course. Or if you can even spare the time.” He felt nervous asking, like it was too much to expect, after everything Steve had already given up for him. 

But Steve looked relieved, “I have all the time in the world for you, Buck. I was hoping you would ask, but I didn’t want to intrude if you wanted to travel on your own.”

“Please, I’ve been on my own for too long. Besides, who else would I want to travel with?”

They smiled and stared at each other for a moment too long, before Bucky made himself look away. The feelings he had for Steve were one of the first things that came back to him after his escape from Hydra. They went back as far as he could remember, but it was something he never dared to put a name to in his head, much less speak out loud. Not only had it been dangerous at the time, and he would never dare put Steve at such risk, but he was also scared that Steve didn’t feel the same way. That if he told Steve, it would ruin their friendship. Not that he thought Steve would judge him harshly or look at him with disgust. But if he told him how he felt, and those feelings weren’t returned, it would make things awkward between them, and they would drift apart. Bucky would rather keep the close friendship he had with Steve than risk it for a possible something more. 

“Alright, then that’s settled. When do you want to leave?”

“When _can_ we leave?”

“Legally? Whenever we want to. We’re free and clear to return to the States as soon as we want. So, the question is when do you think you’ll feel ready, Buck?”

Bucky smiled. “As soon as possible.”

*

Unfortunately for Bucky, _as soon as possible_ wasn’t quite as soon as he’d hoped. 

There had been a few minutes where Bucky panicked about going back, wondering where the hell he was going to live and dreading looking for a place, but Steve, of course, came to his rescue. His apartment in Brooklyn had a spare bedroom, he claimed, and Bucky was more than welcome to move in, for as long as he wanted. For good, even, if he so desired. Which, of course, Bucky did, so he gratefully accepted Steve’s offer.

There was a little snag, however. Wakanda was kind enough extend asylum to Steve and Bucky, as well as to all of Steve’s team. Bucky hadn’t known about Steve’s little jailbreak stunt until after the fact, something which still slightly annoyed him, but Steve claimed he hadn’t told Bucky because _you had so much to worry about as it was at that moment, Buck, and I didn’t want to add to that worry_. Which, Bucky understood, and probably would have made the same call if the roles had been reversed. That still didn’t make it any better in his opinion, even if Steve had come back safe and unharmed.

So, before they set off for home, Steve felt he needed to make sure everyone else had a place to go, and if they needed help getting settled, that he’d be able to be there to help them. Some, like Sam and Natalia, turned down the offer, given they already had places to go. Sam was going to move back to Harlem with his mom, something she was thrilled about given how Sam’s recent occupation made her worry more than she did even when he was a pararescue in the military. Natalia was a little more closed lipped about where she was going, but assured Steve she would be fine, and if she needed to contact him she had his number. 

Wanda decided to stay in Wakanda for the time being, with permission from the King himself. She said even though she knew the lives lost in Lagos weren’t really her fault, she still carried the weight of guilt with her, and she wanted to stay, to try to make amends in whatever small way she could. It was something Steve tried to reassure her she didn’t need to do, but Bucky understood where she was coming from, and he respected her for her choice. 

Clint’s situation was a little more complicated, given he also had a wife and three kids along with him. They’d shown up shortly after Clint himself arrived in Wakanda, brought by Natalia, who realized that this would be the safest place for them when she saw T’Challa offer safety to a man who he’d thought killed his father not a few days before. Since Clint knew the US government was now aware his family’s existence, something he’d tried so hard to keep secret for so long, he felt going back to the States was probably not the best idea. Bucky still wasn’t exactly sure where Clint and Laura finally decided on since the information was being kept on a strictly need to know basis, but he knew it was a place they would all be comfortable and happy. 

Scott claimed to have contacts with a company called Pym Technologies, and they would be able to handle everything now that the most pressing legal issues were cleared up. He did thank Steve, however, and told him he appreciated his offer of help. He also told Steve he hadn’t regretted the decision to fight, it had been the clear choice, and one that he would make again. That alone made Bucky like Scott automatically. 

Once Steve was satisfied everyone was going to be okay, they were finally able to make their own way back home. They didn’t leave Wakanda totally empty handed though. Shuri, whom Bucky had developed a surprisingly strong friendship with over the past few months, had a gift for each of them. She gave both of them a modified Kimoyo bead bracelet, similar to the one she and other Wakadans were often seen wearing.

“This way, you can keep in touch without having to worry about prying eyes or ears,” Shuri had said. “And I _do_ expect you to keep in touch, Bucky. Gotta make sure my favorite white boy is doing okay in the big, bad world. Plus I want to make sure that arm I made you is functioning properly.”

Bucky smiled and rolled his eyes. “Like you don’t know the arm will probably outlive even me. And of course I will. Who else will I talk about cat memes with?”

She smiled “There’s a rather nifty little feature I’m proud of. If you wear it on your left arm, it can make your arm look like flesh and blood. Make it much easier to get around without being noticed. Captain Rogers, your bracelet has an extra little feature as well. I know you put down the mantle of Captain America, but it still couldn’t hurt to have some protection. You never know who you might run into.” She gestured to one of the beads, which had a small star etched on it. Steve tapped it and a shield made of hard light appeared, one that greatly resembled his old shield. 

“Wow… I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you,” Steve said as he tapped the bead again, the shield disappearing from view.

“It was nothing, really. It can also act as a projectile, like your old shield did. All you have to do is use your arm to direct it where to go, and it will.”

Shuri left with a final hug for the both of them, and finally, _finally_ , Bucky was going home.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally go home, and confessions are made.

Thanks to both the Wakandan and American governments, traveling home wasn’t the headache Bucky had been dreading. They took a private plane and arrived very early in the morning to no fanfare, which is exactly the way everyone involved wanted it. The less people who knew the former Captain America and Winter Soldier were back in the United States, the better.

Stepping into Steve’s apartment was both everything and nothing Bucky expected though.

In theory it was exactly what Bucky expected Steve to be living in, what he’d _hoped_ to give Steve when they were both just broke dreamers living in a cramped two room tenement. It was airy, and full of light thanks to the giant windows that gave a great view of the city.

It was also very, very beige and plain.

The Steve Rogers of his memory was an artist, and he loved to surround himself with color. The more vibrant it was, the better. He also remembered various projects of Steve’s always scattered around, to the point where they even argued about it once or twice.

As he sat his bags down and wandered the various rooms, he saw none of that. All the furniture was either white or shades of beige or pale grey. Even the art on the walls somehow managed to be bland and boring, which Bucky would have been impressed with if he didn’t find it so worrisome. All of this was at odds with how he remembered Steve.

Bucky wandered back into the living room, where he found Steve sat on the couch looking… nervous?

“Steve… are you sure this is your place and not a really nice safe house?”

“...Yes?”

“I mean, I gotta say, this isn’t exactly what I pictured, you know? Unless my memory is worse than I thought and we didn’t have basically the entire rainbow crammed in our old place?”

“Hey, it wasn’t that bad!”

“It was pretty bad sometimes, Stevie.”

“It’s not my fault I couldn’t always see the colors right!”

Bucky smiled for a second, this was a discussion they’d had often, especially when Steve brought something new home that didn’t quite match with everything else. Like the bright red and yellow curtains, god those had been blinding to look at.

“No, I know. But… there’s literally zero color in here.”

“I... ,” Steve sighed. “I know. But, when they woke me up, I just… I couldn't… I didn’t really care, you know? I didn’t even pick this place out, not really. I mean, I kind of did, they showed me pictures of a few choices, and I picked this one, but… it wasn’t going to be home, no matter what I did. There was no going back home. So I didn’t see a point. I ended up hiring a decorator and just let them do what they wanted. I guess they assumed Captain America would like a muted color palette. Then I ended up having to move to DC anyway, so I never bothered to change it.”

“Steve… I remember what your DC apartment looked like, even though I only saw it through a rifle scope. It didn’t look much better than this.”

“Hey, it had more art!”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t you. It was like Captain America lived there, not Steve Rogers.”

He glanced around the room again. “Also... speaking of art, where’s your art stuff? I don’t think I saw anything around here.”

Steve got quiet and looked down at his hands.

Now that Bucky thought about it, he hadn’t seen Steve touch anything art related during their stay in Wakanda, either. At first Bucky assumed Steve had just been too busy, but now he was getting a sinking feeling in his chest that it was worse than that. 

“Steve?”

“I… haven’t picked up a brush in a while.”

“A while? How long is a while?”

“Since 1944?”

The idea of Steve not painting, not even sketching, was such a foreign concept to Bucky. Unless he was on Death’s door, which was more often than Bucky liked, he’d always had a pencil or a brush or something in his hand. So this? This made Bucky realize there might be more wrong with Steve than he first realized.

“Why not, Steve?” He tried to ask as gently as possible, not wanting to sound accusing. 

“I tried, at first. But, between the missions SHIELD sent me on, and all the catching up I had to do, I just never found the time. Or the inspiration if I’m being honest. Brooklyn wasn’t the same, it hurt just to look at that reminder of how much it all had changed, much less draw it. And you know how my favorite go to’s when I couldn’t think of anything else to draw was either ma, or you, or your family, and even thinking about any of you hurt. So I just… didn’t.”

_Oh Steve._

Steve hid his face in his hands, so Bucky scooted close to Steve and put an arm around him, to let him ride out whatever emotions he needed to.

They sat there for a few minutes before Steve uncovered his face, took a deep breath, and nodded his head to let Bucky know he was okay. Bucky gave one last gentle squeeze and scooted back to where he’d been.

“So, since you invited me to move in, that makes this my place too, right?” 

“Yes?”

“Well, if I have to live in all this beigeness I might cry, Stevie. It’s so _boring_!” 

Steve let out a surprised laugh, which is exactly what Bucky was going for.

“So, I say, before we leave on our vacation, we redecorate.”

Steve looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “Now? Are you sure you don’t want to wait until after we get back?” 

“Now. I want to come back to a place that actually feels like home, not l like I’m in yet another hotel room.”

“Hey, its not that bad!” Steve exclaimed, smacking Bucky gently on the arm.

“It’s pretty bad Steve.”

“Fine. We’ll redecorate, then we leave, happy?”

“Yes. I mean, it shouldn’t take _that_ long, right? All we really need to do is get some new furniture and put some actual art on these walls. That shouldn’t take longer than a week.”

*

When Bucky suggested it would only take a week, he thought he was pushing it. In his mind, picking out some new couches and rugs shouldn’t have taken longer than three or four days, at most. But they were going on two weeks now. Two. Weeks. It turned out Steve, when given a decent budget to decorate a space and the ability to actually see all the colors of the rainbow is a menace and the pickiest son of a bitch in the world. 

Under any other circumstance he would have tried to rein Steve in, but this was the first time Bucky had seen any real spark of life in Steve’s eyes that didn’t involve punches being thrown, so he was going to let Steve have his fun.

It also helped Bucky’s patience that they were doing all the shopping online.

Plus, he might find enjoyment in finding the ugliest things possible to show Steve, just to see the look on his face. 

Bucky’s current find was a reading chair and bookcase combo called the Sunflower chair.

“What. Just… what,” Steve said as he sat, dumbfounded at what he was looking at on the screen. 

“Come on Steve, you have to admit it would be useful! You’re reading one book, but it’s just not holding your interest, so instead of having to get up and go all the way to the bookcase to get another book, the bookcase is already there! You’re surrounded by books! What’s not to love about it?”

“Besides the fact the legs look like they would barely be able to hold either one of us up?”

Bucky waved his arm in dismissal. “Details, Steven, details.”

Steve smiled, “I don’t think either of us would fit. Plus that shade of pastel yellow?”

Bucky smiled back, “I know! Isn’t it the worst?”

“Almost as bad as the pea green chair we found on the side of the road. Do you remember that thing?”

“Oh my god, yes! Ugly as sin, but god was that the most comfortable thing, especially after a long day. I can’t believe anyone would throw away a perfectly good chair like that.”

“I still say someone died in it, Buck.”

“And I still say you just don’t appreciate the beauty that was that chair.”

“Maybe.” 

They finally did find a chair that looked like it was very comfortable, and able to hold the weight of a super soldier without breaking. It was even green, though a more tasteful shade of dark green. Steve wouldn’t admit it, but Bucky was sure he picked green in honor of that old pea green chair.

As for all of the old stuff, Steve decided to anonymously donate it all to local charities. He’d thought about selling it, but he was still trying to keep a low profile, and some people might consider Captain America’s depression colored couches a collectors item, and that was something Steve wanted to avoid altogether.

Once everything was delivered and arranged to their liking, Bucky looked around and considered what a difference it all made. The once plain, depressing space was transformed into something that felt more lively, more like Steve. Along with the green chair, they found some dark grey couches, and a beautiful dark green and grey distressed rug. The walls were filled with prints from Steve’s favorite artists. It felt more like a home, exactly what Bucky hoped for.

There was still the small issue of the room Steve claimed was his office. While Steve had been open to changing up the rest of his home, he was less open to turning that space into an art studio. Bucky didn’t want to push the issue, but it still worried him. Art had always been Steve’s way of destressing, and he needed a healthy, non-punching everything in sight way to destress more than ever. But, Bucky decided, that was something he could deal with after they got back.

Especially when Bucky currently had a more pressing matter to deal with. Namely, getting the nerve up to go out into the crowded streets of New York City. So far, he’d managed to avoid it, since Steve was the one to go do the grocery shopping and run errands. For most other things Bucky needed he just bought it online. Online shopping was probably up there for one of Bucky’s favorite things about the future.

But he needed a motorcycle, and that was one thing he refused to buy online. You can’t tell a good bike just by looking at it, you needed to actually take it out for a test drive, to see how it responded, if he liked how it felt. Which meant he needed to go to a dealership. 

It’s not that Bucky was agoraphobic, or scared of crowds, or anything like that. He was still a New Yorker at heart, crowds never bothered him. It was more of a fear of being recognized, either as Bucky Barnes, formerly dead hero of a war long passed, or as Hydra’s asset, ready to be taken back in and reconditioned. He knew the latter was very unlikely to happen, since what forces Hydra had left after the Insight incident had been decimated thanks to his own little crusade as well with the Avengers’ efforts. The fear still lingered though, and probably always would.

The former though, that also caused him a great amount of stress, especially since the whole world knew Bucky Barnes was alive and did not, in fact, die in 1944. The very last thing he wanted was for some random person to recognize him and approach him. He wasn’t ready to face the fact he was now famous, or infamous, or however you wanted to put it.

Steve tried to reassure that no one would recognize him, what with his hair longer than it was even when he was the Winter Soldier, and a beard covering his face. “Your ma wouldn’t even recognize you, Buck.”

“If she did, she would yell at me for letting myself go like this, then sit me down and cut my hair and shave me herself.”

So with that in mind, and in combination with the bracelet Shuri gave him to hide the arm, Bucky knew, logically, it would be nearly impossible for some random person on the street to recognize him. 

Steve himself had also decided to grow out a beard as well has his hair, since no one expected Captain America to have anything other than a clean cut look. Bucky had to admit it was a very, very good look on him. He’d spent more time than he cared to admit wondering what it would be like to run his fingers through that hair, or what it would feel like to kiss him with that surprisingly dark and thick beard. It also featured in some of his favorite dreams. 

The most important upside to Steve’s new look, however, is they could both go anywhere and no one would even blink an eye, which Bucky liked just fine.

Still, though, Bucky worried.

“You don’t have to do this Buck. I can just pick out a bike for you.”

“Steve. I do. I _want_ to. I can’t just stay here forever. Plus, you’d probably pick the tackiest bike in the lot just to fuck with me.”

Steve put a hand to his chest. “Me? I would never, ever do that to you.”

“Suuuure. Besides, I need to get used to crowds eventually. Best to do it in a place I feel at home instead of somewhere I’ve never been before.”

So, with that, they set off.

They originally planned to take the subway, but Steve wanted to have his bike looked at by the mechanic on the lot to make sure the months of sitting unused hadn’t messed anything up, so they both ended up taking his bike. Which meant Bucky had to cling to Steve. It was both the best and worst motorcycle ride of his life, given he got to be close to Steve, but at the same time had to keep certain urges under control. 

Thirty short minutes later they arrived at the lot. It took all of Bucky’s willpower to let go of Steve, but he somehow managed to do it. He just hoped Steve didn’t notice.

“You alright Buck?”

Damn, no such luck.

“Yeah, why?”

“You were holding me kind of tight there. You’re sure you’re not too nervous or overwhelmed? We can go straight home if you need to.”

“I’m fine, trust me. Guess I’m just not used to riding behind someone.” 

Steve nodded, like he wasn’t quite sure he believed him. “If you’re sure...”

“I’m sure. Besides were already here, might as well do this thing.”

“Right. Well, after you.”

While Steve went to talk to a mechanic about giving his bike a once over, Bucky walked into the showroom and instantly felt like a kid in a candy store. There was just so many models to choose from. If he was able, he would spend all day test driving every bike, but, sadly, he was hoping to fit in a few other errands now that he’d finally gotten the nerve to leave the apartment.

There was one in particular that caught Bucky’s eye almost instantly. It was sleek and dangerous looking, but claimed to be perfect for cross country travel. It was perfect, everything Bucky could ever want.

A friendly looking older woman with dreads walked up to him. “She’s a beaut, huh?”

Bucky glanced at the woman then back to the bike and nodded. “Very much so.”

“Would you like to take it for a test drive?”

“God yes,” he nodded enthusiastically. 

She laughed. “Alright, give me a second to grab the keys, then we’ll take her for a short spin.”

The test drive was even better than Bucky could have hoped for. The bike handled like a dream, and was surprisingly comfortable, a huge plus given the amount of time he was going to be spending on it in the foreseeable future.

The woman, who he found out was named Marnie, also got him set up with a couple bluetooth helmets, so Steve and Bucky could stay in contact while on the road. Bucky also picked out an extra storage box, since they were planning to be travelling for a while, which meant they would need quite a few things. He didn’t want to have Steve carry everything by himself, after all.

About an hour after that Steve’s bike was given a clean bill of health, and they were both off. The rest of the day was spent gathering everything else they might have needed. They even grabbed some lunch, and Bucky managed to get through the whole meal without letting his paranoia of being recognized get to him, which made him feel very accomplished, and more at ease for how ready he was to go on this trip.

*

It was a week solid of planning out their route and itinerary, which they decided would take them through the states along Route 1. It seemed the perfect time to do this as well, given it was summer and it would be perfect tourist and hiking weather. It would miss Vermont but they would still be able to see the bulk of New England, which was the most important thing. 

Soon enough it was the night before they were set to leave. Their bikes were all gassed up, everything they needed was all packed, and they were excited and ready to go. At least, Bucky was excited. Steve, on the other hand, was more subdued than Bucky expected him to be. He wasn’t moping or nervous or anything too out of the ordinary, but it did seem like there was something on his mind that was seriously bothering him, and Bucky couldn’t begin to guess what it was for the life of him.

Which is why Bucky decided he needed to sit down and talk with Steve. Mainly, he was worried Steve was having second thoughts about this whole trip, and was just too nice to say anything to Bucky about it. The last thing he wanted was for Steve to just go along with all of this just for his sake.

He found Steve in the living room, staring at a book like he’s trying to read it but was actually lost in thought. 

“Hey, Stevie, got a moment?”

Steve startled, like he hadn’t even heard anyone walk in, which made Bucky even more nervous since Steve was usually very aware of his surroundings. For him to be caught off guard like that meant there clearly was something that weighed on his mind.

He looked up from his book and set it aside. “Sure Buck. Is everything okay?”

“You tell me. You’ve been acting weird all evening, you’re more quiet than usual. You aren’t having any second thoughts, are you? You know you can tell me if you are, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Or… if you just want me to go alone, I can do that to.” He didn’t want to leave Steve, but maybe he was getting tired of Bucky after having spent a few weeks together, and was just too kind to say anything.

“No! No, of course not! That’s not it, I’m excited to go, it’s just…” 

“Just?”

“Just…,” Steve sighed. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Bucky opened his mouth to reassure Steve he could talk to him about anything, but Steve held a hand up. “Please, let me speak, because if you say anything I might chicken out, and this is something I really want to tell you before we leave.”

Bucky felt his eyebrows rise. Granted his memory still somewhat patchy, but he couldn’t remember a single instance of Steve actually being too scared to do or say anything. He nodded his head for Steve to continue.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “So, this is something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long, long time now, but I was scared, because if I tell you, you won’t think of me the same way. It could ruin the friendship we’re just really starting to build back up. But if I don’t tell you, it will keep eating me up inside. I thought it was something I had under control, something I could ignore, but I can’t anymore. Especially since we’re going to be spending a lot of time alone for the next few weeks.” Steve stopped, closed his eyes for a few seconds, and took a deep breath.

“I love you. I’m _in_ love with you. I have been since we were fifteen. When you fell off that train, it was like my heart was ripped out of my chest and fell with you. Until I saw you again on that overpass I was hollow inside. Seeing you again, knowing you were alive was both a blessing and a curse, and I hated myself for being so happy you weren’t dead because of everything I know you were forced to suffer. But I was happy, and I’m even more happy now, knowing you’re safe and recovering, knowing they can’t ever hurt you again.

“I might be even more in love with you now than I was even back in 1944, something I didn’t even think was possible. God, Buck, especially over the past few weeks, seeing you smile and laugh, making me smile and laugh, seeing you conquer your fears and come out all the stronger for it? You’ve made me fall more and more for you.

“And… and I feel like I need to tell you this, because we’re going to spending a lot of time alone together, and I don’t want to just blurt this out in the middle of nowhere and make things awkward and….”

It was at that moment that Bucky kissed him, because he couldn’t help himself. Steve loved him. Steve was in love with him. Steve Rogers, one of the best men Bucky would ever have the privilege of knowing, loved him, and had loved him since they were kids. It was like a dream come true, hearing those words come out of Steve’s mouth. 

Steve made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, but melted into the kiss a second later. It was the best kiss Bucky remembered ever having in his life. Not because he didn’t remember any other kiss he’d ever had, and not because Steve was some great kisser, though he wasn’t the worst, but because it was Steve he was kissing.

He poured all the love he had into the kiss, tried to show how he felt, since he wasn’t sure he had the words to tell Steve just how deep the feelings for him ran.

They kissed for what felt like forever, and Bucky had no problems with letting it go on for the rest of the night, the rest of his life even. He never wanted to stop kissing Steve. But, sadly, they both needed to come up for air eventually.

Steve leaned back enough to press his forehead against Bucky’s and looked at him with a dopey smile on his face, one he knew he was mirrored back on his own. “So… does that mean you feel the same way?”

Bucky chuckled and pressed a quick peck on Steve’s lips. “Yes, you punk.”

He wrapped his arms around Steve, and pressed his forehead to his shoulder. He didn’t think he could say what he needed to say if he kept looking at Steve. “One of the first things I remembered, after pulling you from the water, was that I loved you. I couldn’t remember why I felt that way, hell I couldn’t even really remember who you were, or who I was, but I knew when I saw your face that I’d loved you for a long, long time.

“And I have, Steve. I think I’ve loved you for as long as you’ve loved me. Maybe even longer. All I remembered is you laying in a bed, asleep. I think you were sick, or recovering from some illness maybe. But I remember sitting there and holding your hand, never wanting to let go. Wanting to be by your side for the rest of our lives.”

He hesitated for a second, not wanting to cause Steve any sadness or distress. But if Steve could be brave, then so could Bucky, and this was something he needed to say. 

“You were always one of the first things to come back to me if they kept me out of cryo for too long. That’s how deep my feelings for you are. Even under the most intense brainwashing Hydra could throw at me, they couldn’t make me forget about you.”

He lifted his head to look Steve in the eyes, shocked to see tears had fallen. He brought his hands to Steve’s face to wipe them away, then caressed his cheeks. “So, there’s one thing I need you to never, ever doubt or question, and it’s that I love you, so very much. I love you, Steve Rogers. I always have, and I always will.”

Steve let out a wet chuckle and brought his hands to Bucky’s face. A thumb swiped at his cheek, and he was surprised to find there were tears on his face, too. 

Steve kissed him again, a soft, sweet, slow thing. They didn’t go much further than that, which was more than fine with Bucky. It had been an emotionally draining, if happy, evening, and they both had a long drive ahead of them tomorrow.

They did end up laying in bed, though, and exchanged soft kisses and softer ‘I love yous’ until they drifted off to sleep, holding each other in their arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, the sunflower chair actually exists, and its just as ridiculous as its described.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally start their road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the tags, they've been updated for this chapter.

Five in the morning was possibly the worst time to wake up, Bucky decided. But waking up curled next to Steve made the horrid time a little less horrid. The small smile on Steve’s face as he drifted into wakefulness told Bucky that Steve might feel the same way. But then again Steve loved to wake up around this time anyway to go on his early morning runs, so maybe he was just a morning person. Still, Bucky liked to think Steve might have been a little more perky this particular morning than he typically was.

The upside to being up at godawful o’clock in the morning is beating the famed New York City traffic, which made the start of their journey much easier than it could have otherwise been. After a few hours they arrived in Hartford, Connecticut. Once they checked into their hotel they grabbed a bite to eat, then decided to set out and explore the city.

While they had discussed what they wanted to do and see at each location beforehand, Bucky might not have been entirely forthcoming about all his plans. Mainly, he wanted them to go to at least one art museum in each state. More if possible, but he wouldn’t push his luck. It still bothered him that Steve, who he remembered being so engrossed in whatever current project he was working on he would forget to eat, would just give up art like it was nothing. So, he hoped by going to various museums that maybe that spark of creativity would come back to Steve. 

His first choice was the New Britain Museum of American Art, which by the name alone would seem right up Captain America’s alley, but from what Bucky could tell it also looked to be up Steve Rogers’ as well.

“You sure you wanna go to an art museum, Buck?” Steve had asked when Bucky brought it up.

“Yep! Come on Stevie, it’ll be fun, and it’ll be quiet and peaceful. Maybe give me a way to work myself up to larger crowds.”

Steve’s eyes got soft at that and kissed Bucky on the forehead. “Alright, to the museum we go.”

Bucky hated playing the wounded POW card like that, but it might have been a tiny bit more true than Bucky cared to admit. Plus, this was for Steve’s benefit too, so he tried not to dwell too much on it.

He knew he’d made the right choice as they made their way from exhibit to exhibit. It had been a long time since he’d seen Steve’s eyes light up like they were, sometimes standing for several minutes looking at a piece, other times glancing at them before moving on to the next thing. As they made their way through the museum Steve came to life in a way Bucky only remembered in hazy memories.

They somehow managed to spend the entire day at the museum, which Steve seemed embarrassed about, but it was more than fine with Bucky. 

The next day, however, Steve insisted on Bucky picking something for them to do.

“You had to spend all day looking at paintings, now it’s your turn to choose.”

“Need I remind you that I was the one who suggested it in the first place?”

“Yeah, but I know you picked it for me Buck. Now, come on, we have a whole city to explore, what do you want to do?”

“Hmmm… what about the Science Center? That looks interesting.”

“Science Center it is.”

They spent a few hours exploring. Bucky especially loved the butterfly encounter and the rooftop garden. It made Bucky want a little rooftop garden of his own, if he was being honest.

The rest of their stay in Hartford was spent doing the typical touristy things. Soon they eventually had to leave to their next stop, New Haven. There they spent their days on the beach, soaking up the sun and swimming in the ocean. Bucky was a little surprised Steve didn’t have any issues with going into the water, but apparently it was something he’d had to get over pretty quickly, given the various missions SHIELD sent him on. Bucky was glad Steve dismantled SHIELD, because as it was he might have ended up doing it himself, seeing how little they helped Steve recover and how they just threw him back into service. 

Eventually they made their way up the Connecticut coast into Rhode Island, where they followed the same pattern of using the first few days to visit various museums (which Steve gave Bucky a side eye and a smile too when his first suggestion was the local art museum) and tourist attractions, with the following few days being spent at the beach or hiking the various trails. It was the most relaxed Bucky had been in a long time, and he was enjoying every second of it.

*

There was something about finally getting to Boston that filled Bucky with a sense of enjoyment and glee that he hadn’t expected, because, well… Boston. Definitely not Brooklyn, but even Bucky had to admit it was beautiful in its own way.

“I can’t believe we finally made it,” Bucky marveled as they wandered the downtown area.

Steve looked over, amused. “Buck, we’ve only been traveling for a couple weeks, you make it sound like it’s been months.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I meant, you punk. I mean… like in general. For as much as we talked about it, I never actually expected to make the trip, you know?”

Steve nodded and grabbed Bucky’s hand and squeezed. That was still probably Bucky’s favorite part of the future, he could hold Steve’s hand in public and not one single person would bat an eyelash.

“I do know. But I’m learning to expect the unexpected at this point.” He punctuated that statement with a quick peck to Bucky’s lips.

Forget hand holding, kissing Steve in public was Bucky’s favorite thing about the future. 

He gave Steve a quick peck back, though he wanted to do much more than that. Now wasn’t the time though, just because he _could_ make out with Steve in the middle of downtown Boston, doesn’t mean he should.

“So, what’s the plan, Buck?”

“Aren’t you usually the Man with the Plan?”

Steve shot him a withering glance. “Really?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. No, but really, what do you want to do?”

“Boston’s known for its clam chowder, right? Let go find some of that. Plus I think the Red Sox are playing today, we should check that out too.”

Bucky wrinkled his nose. “The Red Sox? Really, Steve?”

“What? It’s not my fault the Dodgers left Brooklyn! You’d rather I root for the Yankees?”

They both shuddered at the thought.

“Plus, you know I’m a sucker for a good underdog story.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine, we’ll go to a ball game. But you gotta buy me a hot dog.”

“Of course. But first, chowder time.”

“Lead the way.”

*

“Steve… what is this?’ He poked at the white, milky soup in front of him.

They’d ended up in a restaurant Google promised them had the “best clam chowder” in Boston, but looking at this bowl of… something in front of him Bucky was beginning to think Google lied to him.

“That’s New England clam chowder.”

“Where’s the tomato? Where are the vegetables? Steve, are you _sure_ you didn’t order the wrong thing?”

“Yes, Bucky, I’m sure. You’re thinking of Manhattan clam chowder. Just try it, you might like it.”

He looked dubiously at it and took the tiniest bite. 

“Well?”

“...It’s… okay.”

“Just okay?” 

Bucky, trying to keep a neutral face up to this point, finally broke and wrinkled his nose in disgust. “It’s so bland! It just tastes like clams and salt!”

Steve took a bite from his own bowl and raised his eyebrows. “Mmmmmm, its good.”

“Why am I not surprised you like? I remember how you used to cook, you would like it.”

“Hey!”

“What, its true!”

“I’d like to think I’ve gotten better since then.”

“I will admit you have learned how to actually use seasoning. But that doesn’t change this is just creamy salt soup.”

“Well, if you don’t want it, I’ll eat it.”

Bucky dragged the bowl closer to himself. “Now I didn’t say I didn’t want it. It’s just not as good as I expected is all.” He took a big bite to prove his point. It honestly wasn’t all that bad. Different, but not bad. But he would never admit that out loud.

Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Buck.”

Bucky stuck his tongue out and took another big bite for emphasis.

“Your ma is rolling in her grave at your manners.”

Bucky just grabbed a cracker and chewed it with his mouth open in response.

*

Baseball didn’t seem to grab his attention the way it did when he was younger, but he still had a good time watching Steve watch the game. The hot dogs were even decent. Even better though, this was the largest crowd he’d been in yet, and he didn’t have a single panic attack. Which Bucky felt called for a celebration.

“A pub crawl? You know we can’t get drunk, right?” Steve asked when he’d made the suggestion.

“Really? I had no idea. Besides, it’s not about the getting drunk. It’s about getting to see the local nightlife, and personally I can’t think of a better way to do that.”

“We can’t get drunk, but everyone else around us sure as well be. Do you wanna be around drunk people all night?”

“Hell yeah! It’ll be great, drunk people are hilarious! Plus, you can be there to make sure all the drunk assholes are kept in check, and I know you love to do that. And don’t say you don’t, I remember you do.”

“I don’t _like_ it. It’s just the right thing to do.”

“And you love doing the right thing. That’s your _thing_ Steve, doing the right thing.”

“Oh, fine, we’ll go on the pub crawl.”

“Yes! Thank you, Stevie!” Bucky said as he planted kisses all over Steve’s face. “Have I told you I love you today?”

“Yes, but I could always stand to hear it again.”

“Sap.”

“But a sap you love.”

“I do. Just remember, we’re trying to keep a low profile. So no getting arrested for punching drunk people, okay?”

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Bucky stopped him. “Don’t even try to say that’s never happened, because I know for a fact it has.”

Steve snapped his mouth shut for a second. “Fine, I won’t deny it. But I will be on my best behavior. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

*

Before the pub crawl Steve decided he wanted to try another food Boston was famous for, lobster rolls.

“Anything has to be better than that stuff they claim to be clam chowder.”

“You know Buck, you claim to hate it, but you did eat the whole bowl.”

“What? My ma taught me never to waste food.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

Thankfully the lobster roll was every bit as good as Boston boasted it was. It was a great start to an even better night. The group they were with turned out to be very easy going and fun, and no one went too overboard with their drinking. They ended up hanging out with them until the early hours of the morning, not getting back to the hotel until close to 6 AM.

Bucky tried to sleep. Really he did. But even as Steve drifted off to sleep next to him he was still wide awake. He just had way too much energy to even consider sleep. So he left a note for Steve so he wouldn’t worry, and decided to take a walk.

Watching Boston come to life in the morning was a very different experience from watching New York City come to life, but at the same time it felt similar enough that Bucky almost felt at home. He stopped at a local coffee shop and ordered the sweetest drink on the menu. It was silly, but doing small things like that always felt like a massive ‘fuck you’ to Hydra and the people who held him captive all those years. _You wanted to turn me into a mindless killing machine? Well this killing machine is going to drink an extra large double chocolate chip caramel frozen frappuccino with extra whipped cream. How do you like that? Oh yeah, you’re dead._

Bucky took a sip of his very delicious drink as he shook himself from those thoughts. He knew it was normal to have them, but he didn’t like giving Hydra more of his time or mental energy than they deserved, which at this point was very little. He was free, he was happy, and he was with Steve. Those were the important things in his life now.

As he walked, he would step into the various shops that were opened, curious to see what they sold. One was a quaint little antique store, that didn’t feel as antique to him as it probably did to everyone else, but that was okay. Another was an art supply store, where he decided that maybe it was time to start planning for step two of his Get Steve to Draw Again plan, which was to buy Steve a sketchbook. He found one that he felt, or hoped rather, was to Steve’s taste. It was just a simple, plain brown leather bound book; but he remembered Steve always seemed to prefer the more simple looking sketchbooks. Even when they couldn’t actually afford them, they would be the ones he would stare at the longest when he went to the art supply stores back in the day. 

As much as he wanted to give it to him now, he knew Steve wasn’t quite ready for a gift like that yet. But, when the time came, it would be there to give to him.

Purchase in hand, he decided to walk back to the hotel, but on his way back a display with unique and beautiful jewelry caught his eye. Interest piqued, he stepped in. Inside featured more of the same. Gorgeous, probably one of a kind pieces were proudly displayed. Not just jewelry, but other works of metal and crystal as well.

An older woman, who was probably closer to his age if he was being honest, walked out of the back room when she heard the bell over the door chime. “Hello, can help you with anything?”

“No. I’m just looking, if that’s okay?”

“It’s more than fine, take your time. I’ll be in the back, so yell if you need anything.”

Bucky nodded as he looked around, absorbed by the beauty of the pieces. One piece caught his eye, snagging a memory of a long time ago, when he was just a small child. The piece was a ring, a thick silver band with a crowned heart framed by hands, and three small blue gems on each side of the heart.

His mother had a ring like that. A claddagh ring. It was something his pa had given his ma, used it to ask her to marry him. She said it was a representation of their love, and she’d always worn it, no matter what.

“Ma’am?”

A second later she walked back out. “Yes? Find something you like?”

“Actually, yes.” He pointed at the ring. “Can I see that?”

“Ah, good choice!” She said as she took the ring from the display, and handed it to him to inspect closer. 

Marriage… it wasn’t anything he’d really considered or thought about. Back before the war, he was so worried about his family, and Steve, to really care too much about any long term relationships, and after everything, he was so focused on getting himself back together that any relationship seemed like an impossibility.

But now he was better, and he had Steve. Sure, they’d really only been together just a couple weeks, but it all went deeper than just that. They’d known each other their whole lives, practically lived in each other’s pockets. Obviously he wasn’t going to ask Steve today, but... Maybe. Possibly. He knew Steve was it for him.

He slipped the ring on his right ring finger, since they both had similar hand sizes, and it was a near perfect fit.

“I’ll take it. How much?”

*

Steve was still asleep when Bucky quietly stepped into the hotel room. He stashed his purchases in his luggage, and slipped out of everything but his boxers and his shirt and slipped under the covers. Despite his best efforts though, Steve stirred and opened one eye.

“Mmmmm. You smell like coffee.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just went for a short walk. I couldn’t sleep.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

Steve hummed his understanding and cuddled closer. He nuzzled into the crook of Bucky’s neck and pressed a kiss under his ear, before working his mouth down his jaw and to his lips.

So far, all they’d done together in bed is kiss. Steve said he didn’t want to push Bucky too far too fast, and was more than happy to let Bucky set the pace. Now, though, Bucky felt ready to something more than kissing. He wasn’t quite sure where this sudden boldness came from. Possibly it had something to do with the ring hidden in his bag, maybe it was just the way Steve looked so adorable and sexy when sleep rumpled. Honestly he didn’t care. All he knew was he wanted.

Bucky flipped them so Steve was on his back, then kissed his way down to his nipples. Steve had the most sensitive nipples, and made the best noises when Bucky put his lips on them and gently sucked, while his other hand went to the other nipple and lightly pinched.

Steve arched into the touch and brought his hand to the back of Bucky’s head. He tangled his fingers and his hair and pulled slightly, something that made Bucky moan. The little jolts of pain went down his spine and straight to his dick and he loved it.

As much as Bucky would have loved just keep doing what he was doing, he did have a plan in mind, so with great effort he released Steve’s nipple and kissed his way down his very muscled chest, while his hands went to toy with the waistband of Steve’s boxers. 

“B-Bucky?” Steve stuttered out, clearly not expecting the turn of events.

Bucky stopped around Steve’s belly button and looked up with a little smirk. “Yes?”

“Are you sure?”

“Only if you want it.”

“Oh god, yes.”

“Then I’m sure,” and proved just that by pulling the waistband down.

Bucky had spent a lot of time when he was a teenager imaging what Steve would look like laid out and ready for him, but fantasy paled to the reality, and not because of the serum. Steve was beautiful, all flushed and panting, waiting for Bucky to make a move. For a bare second Bucky toyed with the idea of dragging this out, but he was too impatient for that. 

He grasped Steve’s dick and stroked a couple times, before he gave a few tentative licks and brought the head into his mouth. The taste wasn’t quite what he expected, slightly bitter and salty, but not bad. As much as he wanted to deep throat Steve, this was the first time he’d ever given a blowjob, and he didn’t want to ruin the experience by throwing up all over everything, so he took it slow, not risking going too past the head, while he used his hands to stroke the rest that didn’t fit in his mouth. 

He lost himself in the rhythm and the moans coming from Steve. It felt like his entire existence in that moment was narrowed down to giving Steve as much pleasure as possible. Steve’s hand reached down to stroke at Bucky’s jaw and hair, sometimes encouraging Bucky to go faster or slower.

The noises Steve let out were addictive, and Bucky wanted to have Steve make those sounds forever. Too soon though Steve was tapping at his face.

“Buck… Bucky. I’m, oh god, I’m close. I’m so close, Bucky please.”

Bucky opened his eyes and nodded, letting him know it was okay, to let go.

A few seconds later Steve’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he let out his loudest moan yet. As he came, a burst of the same bitter, salty taste flooded his mouth, which he reflexively swallowed. 

He barely had time to release Steve from his mouth when he was dragged up by Steve, who kissed him with a passion Bucky had yet to experience, which was saying something.

Hands roamed all over his body, and he was reminded he has a little problem of his own, which Steve seemed more than willing to take care of. He hesitated at the waistband, and Bucky gave an emphatic nod yes, too turned on to actually speak.

Steve smiled and kissed him again while he stuck a hand down his boxers to stroke at his erection. He couldn't help the moan he let out, Steve’s hand was so warm and perfect around him. He started with slow strokes but got faster as Bucky moaned and begged for _faster god please Steve faster_.

He wished he could say he lasted a lot longer than he did, but he’d been turned on since before he gave Steve the blowjob. After just a couple minute of Steve stroking at him and kissing him he came with a loud shout.

They exchanged languidly kisses as they both came back down from their highs.

“Holy shit,” Steve eventually panted out after a few minutes.

“Yeah.”

“That was…. Wow.”

“Yeah.” It was apparently all Bucky was able to say at that moment.

“Where did that come from? Not that I didn’t like it, I loved it. I didn’t think you were ready for that yet, though.”

Bucky shrugged. “I dunno. It just felt right.”

Steve smiled and kissed Bucky’s temple. “We should get cleaned up, especially you.”

At that moment Bucky became very aware of the mess that was cooling in his boxers.

Bucky sighed. “If we must. But only if you shower with me.”

“I’d love to.”

They didn’t do much more than kiss in the shower, which was far too small for two supersoilders to get up to much more than that. Soon enough they were back under the sheets of the hotel bed, and this time as Steve drifted off to sleep, Bucky wasn’t far behind him.

*

“I know what you’re doing, Buck.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky replied with the most innocent look he could manage.

After their morning activities they opted to spend the rest of the day relaxing in their hotel room, not even leaving to get food. Bucky seriously appreciated the concept of room service more than he did before yesterday, that’s for sure.

Today, however, was going to be spent exploring the city more. Bucky’s very first suggestion, of course, was to go to the Museum of Fine Art.

“With this whole going to art museums thing. You don’t even like art Buck.”

“Hey, that’s not true! It’s… pretty to look at.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and just stared at him.

“And… maybe I’m trying to help you get your inspiration back by suggesting we go to all these art museums.” Bucky finally admitted after a few seconds of Steve’s Captain America stare being aimed at him. He wasn’t even sure Steve knew he was doing it, which he would almost find hilarious if he wasn’t at the other end of it.

Steve’s face softened when he heard that. “Oh, Bucky,” he said, and hugged him.

As Steve let him go, Bucky said “Well… that was not the reaction I expected when you figured out what I was doing.”

“Sorry. It’s just… it’s so sweet.”

Bucky smiled. “Also I might like seeing how you react to the art. So it’s not a totally selfless act.”

“I love you. You’re ridiculous, but I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“And I’ll agree to keep going with your ‘Get Steve’s Inspiration Back’ plan, but we aren’t going to spend all day there. I want you to have some actual fun too, okay? Otherwise I’ll feel guilty.”

“Deal.”

The rest of their time in Boston, after their trip to the museum, involved just wondering the city and stopping at the most American and touristy attractions they could possibly find.

On their last night they planned to spend in the city Steve asked “So, what’s the verdict, is Brooklyn or Boston the better city?”

Bucky thought about it for a second. “Well, Boston’s actually not all that bad, which I can’t believe I’m even admitting.”

“But?”

“But… it’s no Brooklyn.”

“I’m sure Mickey Connor is very disappointed.”

“Yeah, well, I had to listen to Mickey Connor complain all the time, so I’m sure I don’t care.”

Steve laughed.

“To New Hampshire?

“To New Hampshire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this was my first ever attempt at writing smut, I hope I did okay.
> 
> Also, for the record I have no opinion either way about clam chowder, I've only ever had the New England version, but I wouldn't mind trying the Manhattan type, either.
> 
> Also, here's the ring Bucky buys:


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they go on a hike

Though Boston was the big pull of the trip, at least for Bucky, he was still excited to see the rest of New England. He had to admit, as much as he’d missed New York during his years on the run, it was nice to be away from it all for a while, especially when he knew he would be able to go back. 

Steve was actually true to his word about letting Bucky take him to art museums, and even contributed in choosing the museum this time around, which made the whole thing so much less stressful. Steve ended up choosing the Currier Museum of Art in Manchester, which was a little out of the way, but well worth it, at least according to Steve.

Now that he didn’t actually have to pretend to be interested in the art, he could pay more attention to Steve and his reactions to the various exhibits. He wasn’t sure if it was because the exhibits were more to his taste, or if Bucky’s plan was actually helping, but Steve seemed more animated now than he did when they started in Connecticut. It transfixed Bucky, seeing Steve so engrossed in his surroundings.

Bucky’s hands went to his pocket to fiddle with the ring box hidden there. It was something he carried with him everywhere since he’d bought it. He wasn’t sure exactly why, he even tried to leave it with his stuff at the hotel once or twice, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t even planning to propose anytime soon, but it still made him feel better having it near him, just in case.

Later that night, as they were discussing where they would go next, Bucky decided it was time he tried something he’d avoided like the plague.

“Hey Steve?” Bucky asked as Steve was glancing through websites with various suggestions of things to do.

“Hmmmm?” He responded, still engrossed in his reading.

“I was thinking… there are a lot of mountains in New Hampshire, right?”

Steve’s head shot up at that. While they had gone on various nature trails, they had so far avoided anything involving mountains or high elevations, given the obvious bad memories they held for them.

“Are you sure that’s something you wanna do, Buck?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I can’t live in fear forever. And this is nothing like during the war. No dangerous jumps onto speeding trains for starters.”

There was a flash of guilt in Steve’s eyes for a brief second before he blinked and nodded his head. “Okay. Okay, yeah, if you’re sure, we can try that. Do you have any place in particular in mind?”

“Not yet, but I was hoping we could decide that together?”

Steve smiled, “Sure, I’d love that. Maybe we even go camping for a few days as well, have the full nature experience?”

“Two Brooklyn boys getting back to nature, why the hell not.”

After some research and discussion, they decided to go for something easy and as different from the Swiss Alps as possible. It was a little out of the way from their planned route, but that was more than fine with both of them. That was the point, after all, to experience as much of New England as possible.

*

Camping wasn’t nearly as bad as Bucky remembered it being. Possibly because the last time he’d slept in a forest, he’d had to watch out for enemy fire as well as any surprises nature had in store for them. Without that added stress of possibly being bombed or shot to hell at any second, it was actually really peaceful.

It was even romantic, which Bucky never would have expected. They cuddled as they lay in front of the dying fire, look up at the stars in the mostly clear sky. It wasn’t as clear as it was in Wakanda, but it was still stunningly beautiful.

Bucky nuzzled into Steve’s neck and smiled. Steve kissed the top of his head in return.

After a few more minutes Bucky broke the silence. “Do you remember when we did this in Wakanda?”

“I do. I also remember wanting to hold you like this, but being to scared.”

“Mmmm. Yeah, I’m glad we finally got our act together.”

“Me too.”

“But that wasn’t exactly what I meant. I was more thinking what we talked about. The meteor shower from when we were kids?”

“Oh yeah. What about them.”

Bucky sat up to be able to better look at Steve. “Well, it’s almost that time of year, and I was thinking….” He stopped, suddenly too shy to continue.

“Thinking?” Steve prompted.

“Thinking we could end our trip with that. Going somewhere like this, where we can see the sky as clear as this.”

Steve sat up as well and gave Bucky a gentle kiss. “I think that sounds like a perfect idea.”

He smiled, then let out a yawn.

Steve chuckled. “Come on sleepy head, time for bed. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He leaned over and gave Steve one more kiss, then they got up to get their campsite ready for the night.

*

The next morning greeted them bright and early, and Bucky awoke with a mix of fear and excitement. But, he pushed back the fear as he got up to prepare for the day. Steve, of course, was awake and had breakfast and coffee ready and waiting, which Bucky took with a grateful hum and a smile. 

“Sleep okay?”

Bucky nodded as he took a sip. It was warm and sweet, just how Bucky liked it. God, he loved this man. 

“Yep. No nightmares of falling off cliffs or anything.” It had been a real worry, too. Bucky suspected sleeping next to Steve helped keep the nightmares at bay though. “What about you?”

“Nope, sleep perfectly well.”

“Well, I’m going to take that as a good sign that today is going to go smoothly.”

“No falling off cliffs or losing limbs?”

Bucky smiled and wiggled his left arm, which thanks to the Wakandan bracelet currently looked like any other arm. “Not even this one, and we know this one is detachable.”

“But only when you want it to be detachable.”

“Oh, of course. I’m not going to question Shuri’s work. She might hear me all the way in Wakanda and I don’t even want to think what her reaction might be if she heard us questioning the quality of her work.”

“Scared of a little girl, Buck?”

“Scared of a brilliant scientist who takes pride in what she does.”

“That’s fair.”

Their light banter lasted the rest of breakfast and through packing up for the day. As they rode to Mount Cube, the banter died down, nerves slightly overtaking both of them. It wasn’t unexpected, given everything, but Bucky was still determined to face this. He would not let fear rule his life.

As they entered the park and parked their bikes though, he could tell everything would be fine. The terrain was totally different, and it was summer, not winter. There was nothing here that could trigger any bad memories. 

Steve looked over at him as they got the gear they needed together and raised his eyebrows as if to ask you okay? 

Bucky nodded. He could do this.

“You need us to turn back, just say the word.”

“I will. You, too, okay?”

Steve nodded, and they started on the trail.

*

“Wow.”

The view at the summit was incredibly gorgeous. It looked as though a carpet of green was laid out before them, broken only by lakes of the most beautiful blue. It was a cloudless day, so the sun shined brightly and the sky looked like it went on forever.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded, awe evident in his voice.

The trail, which for an ordinary person was estimated to take four and a half hours, only took them two. That, combined with their early start, meant that they were completely alone, nothing but nature surrounding them.

“We should take a break up here, just enjoy the scenery for a moment,” Steve suggested.

Bucky nodded, throat suddenly choked up with emotion.

He couldn’t say exactly what made up his mind. Maybe it was the beauty of their surroundings. Maybe it was Steve and how beautiful he looked, even hair slightly mussed up and looking slightly sweaty in his hiking gear. All Bucky knew was this was the moment. He was going to ask Steve to marry him. Just the thought of asking sent a thrill of fear down his spine, but if Steve could be brave enough to tell Bucky how he felt about him, Bucky could be brave enough to do this.

Steve sat his pack down and took a granola bar out to snack on, still admiring the view around them, oblivious to Bucky and what he was doing. 

He took a deep breath and got down on one knee. “Hey, Stevie?”

Steve looked over and nearly dropped his granola bar. His eyes went wide as he said, “Bucky? What…?”

“I love you. It actually scares me a little how deep my feelings go for you. Even during the worst of what Hydra did to me, you never really went away. You were always the first person to come back to me, and even if I wasn’t sure who you really were, all I knew was I loved that person more than anyone.

“I know I stayed away after DC, but even then you were still with me, even when I was trying my hardest to run from you. I was scared I wasn’t the man you remembered, and that I didn’t deserve to be near you.

“You, being the stubborn punk you are, wouldn’t let me let you go, and I’m so grateful for that. If you had, I never would have had this. I would go through all the torture, all the pain, all of it, for even a second of this.

“I know we’ve only really been together for a couple months, but... there’s no one else. You’re it for me, Steve.

“So, will you marry me?”

The granola bar finally fell from Steve’s limp hand. “Yes. Yes, oh my god Bucky, yes!”

Hand only slightly shaking, he reached for Steve’s left hand and slipped it on his ring finger.  
Steve then pulled Bucky to his feet and pulled him close. Steve’s lips met Bucky’s and Steve seemed to be pouring all the love he felt for him into that kiss. Bucky put his hand on Steve’s face and felt wetness there. 

He pulled back and said. “Oh, Stevie, you’re crying.”

Steve let out a wet chuckle. “No shit. The love of my life just asked me to marry him, of course I’m going to be a little emotional. Besides, it’s not like you haven’t let out a few tears yourself.”

Bucky raised a hand to his own face, and wiped away the tears. “Huh. I didn’t even notice.”

Steve rolled his eyes and brought him in for another kiss.

*

They stayed at the summit for a couple hours, going between admiring the view and being lost in each other. They would have stayed longer, but soon others started to reach the summit and broke the peaceful quiet of the morning. 

It took them twice the time to hike down, not due to difficulty but more because neither was willing to let go of the others hand. They eventually made it back to their bikes though, and drove to their next campsite. They had thought to find a hotel for the night to celebrate the engagement, but there was a certain something about falling asleep under the stars that just felt right.

Later that night, as they cuddled under those very stars, Steve was admiring his engagement ring in the firelight.

“When did you even get this?”

“Remember that morning in Boston?”

Steve’s blush was visible even by just firelight and Bucky thought that was the most adorable thing ever. “Yeah, I remember.”

He kissed the top of Steve’s head and continued, “Well I was just wondering the city when I came across this little shop with the most interesting pieces. Popped in just to take a look, saw that ring and it just felt right.”

“So, none of this was really planned at all, was it.”

“Ha! Nope, not at all. I literally have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, you know that. But I’m happy, and I hope you’re happy--”

“Deliriously happy.”

“That’s all that matters to me.”

“Speaking of plans,” Steve said, a few minutes later.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to wait. I want to get married as soon as possible. The sooner the better.”

“You sure about that? It doesn’t feel too soon to you?”

“If you really think about it, this is eighty years in the making here. So no, not too soon. I love you, and I lost you once. I was lucky enough to get a second chance, so I’m going to take it and cling to it for all its worth.”

“You’ve got a plan in mind already, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Let’s hear it, Man with the Plan.”

“It’s been seventy years, you’re really not going to let that go, are you.”

“Nope.” he said, popping the -p at the end.

Steve nudged him in retaliation, then settled back into Bucky’s embrace. “Well… I was thinking, I wanna get married before we go back to New York.”

“Okay.”

“But… I also want our friends to be there when it happens. Nothing big, just a couple people, but it wouldn’t feel right without them.”

“Do you think that’ll even be possible? It’s pretty short notice after all.”

Steve shrugs. “We can at least try. Worst comes to worst we get married at a local city hall and celebrate with them later. Though Nat would very possibly kill me if I got married and she wasn’t there.”

“Oh she would never let you live it down. Okay, sure, let’s get married.”

Steve’s answering smile was blinding and beautiful, and Bucky would do anything to see Steve smile that smile.

He brushed a hand on Steve’s cheek and asked, “How did I get so lucky to get a guy like you to love me?”

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

“We’re both lucky, how about that,” and ended the conversation with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have the first of the three artworks made for this fic!


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which phone calls and plans happen. Also, a birthday.

A couple days later found them in a hotel room figuring out the logistics of how to plan a last minute wedding. They’d had the basic idea of how they wanted things to go down, but before they made anything concrete they needed to make a few phone calls first. 

“We gotta call Nat first. If she finds out I told Sam before her…,” Steve said.

“She’ll kill you?”

“Probably not kill, but she will glare a lot.”

Bucky nodded in understanding. He remembered Natalia’s glares cowing even the toughest Soviet generals.

“Put it on speaker, I want to hear her reaction. Wait… does she even know we’re dating?”

“...Shit. Well, this is going to be a fun phone call,” Steve said as he pulled up Natalia’s number in his contacts list.

After a couple rings she picked up. “Well, he lives. I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me, Rogers.”

“Heh, hey Nat. Sorry, we’ve just been busy.”

“Nah, I’m kidding Steve, I know. Everything’s okay?”

“More than okay, Nat. There’s been some… developments. Between me and Bucky.”

“Details. Now.”

“Well… the night before we left we sort of… finally got our shit together and admitted how we feel?”

“That’s… wow, Steve. That’s great. I’m happy you finally found someone. Shared life experience, huh?”

Bucky gave Steve a confused look. Steve just slightly shook his head as he let out a little laugh. “Yeah, something like that.”

“But, that’s not why you called me.”

“No. Well, yes, but no.”

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”

“Bucky and I are getting married.”

There was dead silence for a couple seconds. “Give me a second. And get Barnes on speaker.”

“He’s already here.”

“Hi,” Bucky added.

“Hi, James. I’m going to get Sam.”

“Sam’s with you?”

“Yep, and he’ll want to hear this, too. Also, I’m calling dibs on being your best man, Steve.”

Steve smiled, looking relieved. Bucky had to admit he was a bit relieved himself. He didn’t think Natalia’s opinion would change Steve’s mind, but it was nice to know Steve had the support of at least one of his friends.

“Steve! Hey! How’s everything!” Sam’s voice came over the speaker a minute or so later.

“Hey, Sam. It’s great, Bucky and I are getting married.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Married? When did this happen?”

“A few days ago. Bucky asked me, and I said yes.”

“Steve forgot to mention the fact that we’ve been together for a couple months, after he blurted out his feelings for me,” Bucky said.

“Hey, I didn’t _blurt _out anything!”__

__“Sure you didn’t, Stevie.”_ _

__“Hey, Barnes.”_ _

__“Hey, Wilson.”_ _

__“So, engaged, huh?”_ _

__“Yep.”_ _

__“Wow.”_ _

__“Yep,” Steve said. “Which is why we’re calling. We sort of want to get married as soon as possible. And we want the two of you to be there.”_ _

__“I called dibs on being Steve’s best man,” Natalia interjected._ _

__“That’s not fair, I didn’t even have a chance!”_ _

__“Sorry,” Natalia said, sounding not at all sorry._ _

__“Actually, we were thinking one of you could officiate. So since Nat is going to be my best man, Sam, would you do the honors?”_ _

__The line went silent again. “I… wow. I’m honored. I would love to be the one to marry the two of you. I’m not ordained, but I’m pretty sure I can be fairly easily. You guys coming back to Brooklyn for this?”_ _

__“Actually that’s the other thing. We want to do it up here. Not that we don’t love Brooklyn or anything, but… this feels right. Plus, its beautiful here.”_ _

__“So when you said soon, you really meant soon.”_ _

__“I mean, we don’t want to inconvenience either of you. Just let us know when it’s good for you, we can work around your schedule.”_ _

__“Man, it’s fine. I can take a couple days off work. This is important. You deserve this Steve. Even you, Barnes.”_ _

__“Gee, thanks.”_ _

__“And I’m already on a vacation of my own, hence why I’m here visiting Sam, so I have all the free time in the world. In fact, text me your location and I’ll be there to help you plan,” Natalia added._ _

__“Thank you, we can use all the help we can get. Thank you both.”_ _

__“Yes, thank you. Honestly, thank you.” Bucky added._ _

__After a couple more minutes to iron out the details of where Nat could meet up with them, they hung up the phone._ _

__“Well, that went better than I expected.” Bucky said._ _

__“What did you think would happen?”_ _

__“I dunno. I guess I expected one of them to try to talk you out of it.”_ _

__“Buck. I’m pretty sure they figured out how I felt about you, even without me ever saying it out loud to them. I… I might have been a little single minded in trying to find you, then when you made it clear you didn’t want to be found, to make Hydra pay for what they did to you.”_ _

__Bucky gave Steve a kiss on the temple. “Why does that not surprise me.”_ _

__“Because you know me better than anyone.”_ _

__Bucky smiled and kissed Steve, on the lips this time. If only they didn’t have more phone calls to make…._ _

__“Right,” Bucky said after a couple minutes of making out. “You call Wanda and Clint. I’m gonna call Shuri.”_ _

__“Right, phone calls.”_ _

__Steve stepped out onto the balcony to make his phone calls while Bucky lifted his left arm to tap one of the Kimoyo beads on his bracelet, which projected an address book of sorts. If he had his time zones right, it should be about seven in the evening in Wakanda, which hopefully meant Shuri wasn’t too busy in her lab._ _

__He scrolled until he found Shuri’s name, then selected it to contact her._ _

__After a few seconds her face appeared. “Bucky! Long time, no see!”_ _

__“Hello, Shuri, how are you?”_ _

__“I’m fine. Busy, but fine. How are you? How’s the arm working?”_ _

__“The arm is amazing, I’m still amazed how it feels like my actual arm. When I have the camouflage on I sometimes even forget it’s not the arm I was born with.”_ _

__“That was the goal, I’m glad it’s doing its job. You look a lot better, too. Something happened didn’t it?”_ _

__“Possibly.”_ _

__“Well, don’t leave a girl in suspense.”_ _

__“Steve and I are getting married.”_ _

__“Oh thank Bast! I thought for sure I was going to have to deal with the two of you pining after each other forever. I’ve dealt with that enough with my brother, I was not ready to deal with it again.”_ _

__“Heh, thanks? I actually wanted to ask, if you have the time of course, if you don’t I understand—”_ _

__“You’re rambling.”_ _

__“Sorry. Nervous.”_ _

__“Nervous? For what?”_ _

__“I was… sort of hoping you’d be my best man in my wedding? A best man is—”_ _

__“I’m aware of how Western wedding customs work. You want _me_ to be your best man?”_ _

__“If you can, like I said I know you’re very busy with your lab—”_ _

__“Bucky, I’d be honored.”_ _

__He exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”_ _

__“Thank _you_ for asking me. When is the wedding?’_ _

__“We haven’t pinned down a date yet, but within a few weeks?”_ _

__“Wait, when did you get engaged?”_ _

__“Couple days ago?”_ _

__“Oh wow, that’s fast.”_ _

__“Eh, it’s been seventy years, give or take.”_ _

__“That’s a good point. Oh! Have you and Steve picked out the rings yet?”_ _

__“No, why?”_ _

__“Well, consider that my wedding gift to the both of you. Plus this way you know it’ll work with your arm.”_ _

__“Thats… wow. Thank you.”_ _

__“You’re welcome. Let me know when you’ve got the date picked, and I’ll be sure to be there. My lab will be fine for a day or two without me, and I’m not going to pass up a chance to see America.”_ _

__“Don’t expect too much. We’re not going to be in a big city or anything. In fact we were thinking about having a lakeside wedding.”_ _

__“That’s so romantic.” She sounded surprised._ _

__“Hey, I can be romantic sometimes!”_ _

__“I’m sure you can.” She glanced at something to the side of her. “I hate to do this, but I really have to go. Give Steve my congratulations, and I’ll see you in a couple days.” The Kimoyo bead then went dark._ _

__Bucky took another deep breath. He’d been nervous to ask her, but he’d been hoping she’d say yes. He’d come to think of her as a sister of sorts. Not a replacement for his own sisters, nothing like that. She did remind him of them sometimes though, in the best possible ways._ _

__A few minutes later Steve came back inside._ _

__“Clint sends his congratulations, but Lila has the flu, so he won’t be able to make it. Wanda and Vision will though.”_ _

__“Vision? I thought he was working with Stark.”_ _

__“Apparently Vision had a change of heart or something. He sounded very apologetic about everything, at the very least.”_ _

__“Well, that’s surprising.”_ _

__“Wanda seemed happy, which is all that matters. What did Shuri say?”_ _

__“That she would love to attend, and she also offered to make the rings.”_ _

__“Oh, wow.”_ _

__“That was my reaction.”_ _

__“I can’t believe the princess of Wakanda is going to be your best man.”_ _

___Wait, what._ “...Princess?”_ _

__“You… you do know she’s T’Challa’s sister, right?”_ _

__“I… holy shit, no. How did I miss that?”_ _

__“Well, I mean, you were going through some things.”_ _

__“Still, that’s a pretty big detail to miss! I’ve been exchanging cat memes with the Black Panther’s sister! Oh no, I’ve cursed in front of a princess, Steve! My ma would kill me if she knew!” Bucky put his hands over his face out of embarrassment._ _

__“Oh, Bucky, no. I don’t know Shuri very well, but I think she appreciated that you treated her like she was just anyone else. Take it from experience, it’s rare for that to happen when your in a position like hers.”_ _

__He lowered his hands. “Still. This clearly means I’m losing my edge, Steve.”_ _

__“That might not be a bad thing, Buck. You don’t have to be on alert all the time anymore. It’s okay to let your guard down.”_ _

__He took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah, you’re right Steve.”_ _

__Steve smiled. “Now, come on. I saw a place that sells something called frappes, I’d like to try that out.”_ _

__“Like the stuff from Starbucks?”_ _

__“Apparently they’re different. Not sure how though.”_ _

__“Eh, why not, let’s go.”_ _

__*_ _

__The next morning at six A.M. they were woken by a knock on the door._ _

__Steve opened one eye to look at Bucky, who was trying to blink awake himself. “Did you order breakfast?”_ _

__Bucky just shook his head, too sleepy to speak._ _

__“Maybe they have the wrong room and will just go away.” Steve said, and closed his eyes to go back to sleep._ _

__Another knock on the door quickly proved that theory wrong._ _

__“Ugh. I’ll get up and tell them to go away.” Bucky was wide awake now, and whoever was responsible was going to feel the full force of what Steve called his murder glare for such an injustice._ _

__The person on the other side of the door was probably one of the only people immune to said glare, though._ _

__“Natalia? Wha… huh?”_ _

__“Good morning to you, too,” she smirked. “Are you going to keep me standing out here or are you going to let me in? And after I brought breakfast, too.” She held up a giant bag and a couple boxes from Dunkin Donuts, as well as some drinks._ _

__He stepped aside to let her in. “How did you get here so fast? We weren’t expecting you until later in the day at the very minimum.”_ _

__“I have a fast car. Plus, I assumed at least Steve would be awake, he usually is around this time.”_ _

__As if summoned, Steve appeared, looking sleep rumpled. He brightened when he saw Natalia. “Nat!” He stepped over and gave her a hug, then gave her a once over. “Like the new hair, blonde is a good look for you.” then took the food she was holding to put in the little kitchenette area._ _

__She smiled “Hey, Steve. Thanks. Sorry for waking you, I thought you would be up already. I’m happy to see you’re actually treating this as a vacation and sleeping in.”_ _

__Steve nodded and busied himself setting breakfast out. “I guess I finally realized the world won’t end if I relax.”_ _

__“Only took him almost a hundred years to figure that one out.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah Buck. Don’t just stand there, come help me.”_ _

__Over breakfast they spent the time catching up with Natalia. Turned out she’d been on a vacation of her own, trying to sort out who she is without being the Black Widow. Her visit to Sam was a part of that, sort of. She was curious about his work with the VA, and she was possibly considering something similar, but on a different level._ _

__“I was actually partially inspired by you, James.”_ _

__“Me?”_ _

__“Seeing you reminded me we weren’t the only two whose lives were ruined by the Red Room and Hydra. Some of them are still out there, too scared to find help for fear of being recaptured by what’s left of Hydra. I want to try to find them and help them.”_ _

__“Wow, Nat. That’s a very admirable thing to do,” Steve said._ _

__She shrugged. “I just realized there might be a different way to wipe out the red that’s still in my ledger, one that doesn’t involve killing. Or being a superhero. But I’m not here to talk about me. This must have been one hell of a vacation to end it by getting married.”_ _

__“Honestly, I think this would have happened eventually. The vacation just… sped things up a bit, since it’s been just the two of us.”_ _

__Natalia nodded. “I can’t say I’m surprised, though.”_ _

__Steve raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”_ _

__“Steve, if you were pining any harder you would have been a Christmas tree.”_ _

__Bucky let out a laugh at that._ _

__“James, you weren’t any better. Don’t think I didn’t see those longing looks aimed at Steve while we were in Wakanda.”_ _

__“Hey!”_ _

__Natalia just smirked. “So, down to business. It’s a couple weeks to your birthday, Steve. Do you two want to be married before or after that?”_ _

__Steve glanced at Bucky. “Personally, I’d like it to be after. If that’s okay with you Buck? I don’t really want to do anything big on my birthday, I’d rather that be as small as possible. Plus this gives us a little more time to plan things.”_ _

__Bucky nodded. “That’s fine with me, Steve. I don’t really care about the details, I just want to be married to you.”_ _

__“Aww, you guys are adorable.”_ _

__Steve threw a napkin at her._ _

__“Seriously though, before we do anything else we need to set a date.”_ _

__Bucky looked over at Steve, who was looking at him._ _

__“July 17th.” Bucky said. The start of the Perseid meteor shower._ _

__Steve eyebrow raised for a second before he seemed to realize it as well. He smiled softly at Bucky before he looked back to Natalia and nodded. “July 17th.”_ _

__“Alright, that gives us a month. Since you’re keeping this small, that should be more than doable. Any thoughts on what you two will wear?”_ _

__“No military uniforms,” Bucky said before Steve could even open his mouth. “Sorry, Steve, but I can’t. I don’t want any reminders of my past, not with this at least.”_ _

__Steve nodded. “No, Buck, that’s fine. I get it. Honestly I don’t either, it wouldn’t feel right, not after everything.”_ _

__“We were also considering an outdoor wedding, under the stars.”_ _

__“So no tuxes,” Natalia guessed._ _

__Steve shuddered. “Please no. If I never have to wear another tux it will be too soon.”_ _

__“When did you wear a tux, Steve?”_ _

__“Stark held a charity gala after Loki attacked New York. It was black tie and possibly the most uncomfortable night of my life, and I’ve performed in front of crowds in tights.”_ _

__“You looked damn good though,” Natalia said. “Any thoughts on colors?”_ _

__“Colors?”_ _

__“Yes,” she said slowly, as if talking to children. “Colors. You know, for the wedding party and all that.”_ _

__“Umm...” Steve and Bucky looked at each other, not really having any idea what to say._ _

__“Ugh. You’re both hopeless. Steve, let me get a closer look at your ring.”_ _

__Steve held up his left hand, and Natalia scrutinized the ring like it held the answers to the universe.”_ _

__“Okay, I think I have an idea in mind. I just need your measurements for the outfits and I should be able to handle the rest. All you need to do is pick the location and we’ll be there.”_ _

__“Nat, no, you don’t need to do all of that.”_ _

__“Steve, honestly, I don’t mind. Consider it a wedding gift. Especially since I get the feeling there won’t be any bachelor parties for me to plan.”_ _

__“Yeah, not really our thing. If you’re sure?”_ _

__Natalia nodded, “I’m sure.”_ _

__“Thank you, Nat.”_ _

__“It’s no problem, really.”_ _

__*_ _

__After cleaning up, Natalia took their measurements and prepared to go back to New York, where she claimed to know a tailor who did fantastic work, and was also very discrete._ _

__Before she left though, she wanted to have a word with Bucky alone._ _

__“Nat?”_ _

__“It’s nothing, Steve, promise. I just want to talk, that’s it.”_ _

__“Steve, it’s okay. Besides, I’m pretty sure I can take her in a fight.”_ _

__Natalia raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn’t bother to answer._ _

__“We’ll just be in the other room, Steve, so don’t worry.”_ _

__“Okay, fine. How about I go for a run and give you guys some real privacy?”_ _

__Bucky nodded, and gave Steve a peck on the lips as he left._ _

__“So, you wanted to talk?”_ _

__“Yes. James, I don’t think I ever said it, but I’m sorry for what happened in Germany last year. And before that.”_ _

__“Oh, Natalia, no. You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, I should be apologizing. You were so young—”_ _

__“And you didn’t even know who you were, James. There was no way you could have helped me when you couldn’t even help yourself. It’s not your fault.”_ _

__“Then you have nothing to be sorry for, either.”_ _

__She looked down at her hands, but nodded._ _

__“One more thing,” she said after a minute. “I know you’ve known Steve longer than I have, but he’s the closest thing I have to a brother. If you hurt him, you’ll understand why people really fear the Black Widow.”_ _

__Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Noted. You really do care about Steve, don’t you?”_ _

__“Other than Clint, he’s the only person to trust me, _really_ trust me, when he had no reason to. So, yes. I do.”_ _

__“Good. Steve needs more people like that in his life. And Natalia?”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“Call me Bucky.”_ _

__“Only if you’ll call me Nat.”_ _

__“Deal.”_ _

__*_ _

__Nat left shortly after Steve got back from his run, leaving a birthday present for Steve which she made him promise to not open before July 4th._ _

__They decided to stay a couple more days, just to let the fact of their engagement really sink in, then they set back out on the road._ _

__When Steve’s birthday hit, they were in the south of Maine, in the gorgeous city of Portland.  
They’d arrived a few days before and decided it would be the perfect place to spend Steve’s birthday._ _

__Given Steve’s birthday was a national holiday, which amused Bucky even more than it did when they were kids for obvious reasons, there wasn’t much to do, so they ended up wandering the town before splurging on a nice restaurant._ _

__Fireworks were inevitable, and neither of them really enjoyed the loud banging. Instead they spent their evening watching a movie on their laptop, unaware of the festivities outside. Noise cancelling headphones were a modern marvel Bucky was intensely grateful for._ _

__Once the festivities calmed down, Steve finally decided it was time to open his birthday gifts. Nat gifted Steve a gorgeous silver pocket watch, like something their parents would have owned. Steve’s smile as he examined the gift was soft and happy, and Bucky took a photo to send to Nat._ _

__Bucky felt nervous as he handed over the sketchbook he’d gotten for Steve in Boston, wrapped in newspaper. It was a callback to how they wrapped all their presents to each other when they were children._ _

__Steve smiled at the wrapping before he ripped it open, just like Bucky remembered he used to open his gifts. His eyes widened as he saw the plain brown cover, and opened it to see the blank pages._ _

__“Oh, Buck. You remembered.” He said softly as he gently touched the cover._ _

__“So you like it?”_ _

__“Are you kidding me? I love it, so much.Thank you.”_ _

__Bucky shrugged and looked down, suddenly feeling shy. “It was nothing.”_ _

__Steve put a hand on Bucky’s cheek and gently guided him so they were looking at each other. “It’s not nothing, Buck. You _remembered_. That alone makes it perfect because it’s a reminder that you’re here, and you’re whole. Just you remembering even one small detail, hell, just you being here at all, is all the gift I could possibly want._ _

__Bucky blushed. “I’m glad you like it. I was worried you might think I was being to pushy, what with the whole art museum thing.”_ _

__“Nah. It’s who you are, Buck. You’ve always tried to take care of the people you love, and fix whatever problems they were having. You’ve never been able to stand by and watch people you care about suffer.”_ _

__“I wish I remember more about all of that.”_ _

__“Oh Buck,” Steve sighed, and gave him a kiss on the side of his head. “I know you do. But you keep remembering more and more everyday, you just have to be patient with yourself.”_ _

__Bucky nodded, then yawned. Steve chuckled then gave Bucky another quick peck on the lips. “Guess that means it’s time for bed.”_ _

__Bucky huffed out a laugh. “Guess so.”_ _

__“All right sleepy head, you want first shower, or should I?”_ _

__A thought popped in his head, and suddenly Bucky wasn’t all that tired. “We could share.”_ _

__Steve raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”_ _

__“It’s still your birthday after all, and I might have one more gift for you.”_ _

__“I like the way you think, Barnes,” Steve said as he pulled Bucky off the bed and into the shower._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you missed it, the first of the three art pieces for this fic was added to the chapter before this one. You should totally go take a look at it, it's beautiful.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a wedding.

The next few weeks are spent in Skype calls with Nat. When she finds out Shuri is going to be be Bucky’s best man she manages to get her involved as well. Between the two of them, all the plans fall into place relatively quickly, which wasn’t a surprise.

Since the only job Steve and Bucky are given is to pick the location, they spend a week going around to various parks until they find the perfect one. It doesn’t take as long as they would have expected, since on the second day they find a gorgeous lake in one of the local state parks, and both of them fall in love with it instantly. 

After that, they’re pretty much ordered not to wander too far away from the area, and to relax. It feels weird to both of them to not be doing much of the planning, given it’s their wedding and all, but Bucky for one is also kind of grateful. He just wants to enjoy his time with Steve without stress. Steve, being Steve, suggests going back to New York to help Nat with everything, but between Nat insisting she doesn’t need the help, and Bucky managing to distract him, they manage to keep him where he is. 

Too soon and not soon enough, it’s finally the big day. Everyone had arrived the night before, except Shuri, who due to responsibilities in Wakanda arrived that morning. There was some talk about having Steve and Bucky sleep in separate rooms before the wedding, but that was quickly nipped in the bud. Both of them slept much better when they were together, and the nightmares, when they did come, were less intense, so even the thought of sleeping apart was out of the question.

Instead, they were seperated right after breakfast, and sent on last minute tasks to keep them busy and distracted so they wouldn’t end up sneaking away to see the other before the ceremony.

Steve was sent off with Nat, Wanda, and Vision to make sure everything at the park was all set, while Bucky, Sam, and Shuri were to ensure all the food, as well as the cake, was all set at the hotel where they would go to after the ceremony.

Bucky wasn’t going to lie, he was a little nervous to spend time with Sam. While Steve insisted Sam didn’t hate him, that he had in fact helped Steve with his search while Bucky was on the run, Bucky still felt like there was a little enmity between the two of them. He’d hope that, whatever it was, it could be fixed, if only for the fact that Sam was clearly important to Steve.

At least Shuri would be there if things got awkward.

“Bucky! How’s my favorite broken white boy?” 

“What, do you know other broken white boys?” Bucky asked as he gave her a hug in greeting.

She shrugged. “Maybe. But you’ll always be my favorite, don’t worry.”

“You know, I’m still a little annoyed you didn’t tell me you were a princess.”

“What? And spoil my fun? Plus, you’re supposed to be some great superspy assassin? You could have figured it out yourself.”

“In my defense, I was too focused on putting my head on straight. I’m sure I would have figured it out eventually.”

“I’m sure you would have,” she said like she was indulging him.

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but Sam arrived at the same moment.

“Hey, Barnes. Princess Shuri,” He gave a little wave in their direction.

“Just Shuri, please,” she said as she waved back in greeting.

“Hey, Wilson. Thanks again for doing all of this.”

Sam smiled, “What, and miss the wedding of the century? But really, I’m honored you both asked me. Plus, who else can say they had the honor of marrying the longest pining couple in history? It’s gotta be a world record or something.”

Bucky laughed. “Wouldn’t shock me if it was.”

“Plus, it wasn’t all that hard to become ordained, just took me five minutes and a google search. Who knows, it could come in handy again, too.”

“The future is a hell of a thing.”

“Come on boys,” Shuri said. “We only have a few hours before we need to be there, and no offense, Bucky, but your hair could use some work.”

His hand went to the top of his head. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with my hair!”

Shuri wrinkled her nose. “It’s frizzy, not like it was in Wakanda. Lucky for you I brought some stuff with me, we’ll have it looking nice and shiny for Steve in no time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but was privately grateful. He liked his hair long, it was a reminder he was a different man now, but maintaining was more difficult than he expected. He had more respect than he used to for his sisters now, thats for sure.

“First though, we gotta get through this list, or else Nat will have our heads. She should really consider a career as a wedding planner. She’s intense, man,” Sam shuddered.

Bucky nodded as they got into Sam’s car. He loved Nat, but he did not want to get on her bad side.

They managed to get through the day with very little trouble. There was enough to keep them busy that any awkwardness between him and Sam never really had a chance to manifest. At least, not until they were back at the hotel getting ready.

Shuri had left them to go get ready herself, which left Bucky and Sam alone for the first time since that cramped car in Germany.

Bucky was sitting on one of the beds in his boxers and an undershirt, toweling his his wet hair, when Sam cleared his throat. “I think you and I have a long overdue conversation we need to have.”

Bucky nodded and put the damp towel down on the bed next to him. “I guess we do.”

“I… might owe you an apology.”

“No, Sam, you don’t—”

“No, no I really do. I wasn’t totally fair to you, and that’s on me. I know Steve makes it sound like I’ve got my shit together, but that’s only compared to him.”

Bucky let out a chuckle at that. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“But seriously, seeing you and Steve, even before you guys became all of this,” he gestured in Bucky’s general direction, but he got the point. “It might have brought up some hard memories of my own. And I tried not to let it get to me, really I did. But part of me thought it was kind of unfair how you two got a second chance and… and Riley didn’t. And I might have lashed out a little at you as a result. So, yeah. Sorry.”

“You lost someone?”

“Steve didn’t tell you about this?”

“Nah. Not like Steve to tell other people’s stories.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. We were both pararescues in the Middle East. I watched him get shot out of the sky right in front of me.”

Bucky winced in sympathy. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Bucky nodded. “Okay, that isn’t. But I am sorry about kicking you off that helicarrier. And about your car. And that whole chasing me around the world thing.”

“Truce?” Sam asked as he stuck out his hand.

“Truce,” Bucky agreed as they shook on it.

“Right, enough mushy stuff, we have a wedding to get ready for, and you don’t want to be late to your own wedding.”

*

The sun was setting, it was a cloudless evening, and it wasn’t too warm. It was like mother nature was giving her own blessing to the union about to take place. Bucky was grateful weather was cooperating, since he was nervous enough as it was.

It was a good nervous, though. In a few minutes he would be doing something that as a teenager he’d only been able to fantasize about, but never thought would actually be possible. This is something he would never admit to Steve, but it was worth going through what he did to be here at this moment.

Steve was already there waiting when Bucky arrived, and he was stopped stunned at how amazing Steve looked. His attire was similar to Bucky’s own, a dark blue button up and light khaki pants, and he made it look amazing. But, more than that, it was Steve himself that made Bucky stop short. Steve’s smile when he noticed Bucky could have lit the entire universe. He was so beautiful, and Bucky had no idea what he did to deserve such a man as Steve Rogers.

There was a touch at his elbow. “Come on, you don’t want to keep him waiting,” Shuri said to him as she went to join the others.

He took a second to take everyone else in before he got completely lost in Steve again. He shouldn’t have doubted Nat, but he was still amazed how, despite the short amount of time, everyone managed to look coordinated. Shuri was in a dress that looked like the sunrise, orange fading into yellow, with a blue belt and choker. Nat herself was in an adorable red dress with flowers, and a grey belt. It should have looked too girly on her, but of course she made it work perfect. Sam wore a dark grey button down and dark pants. He’d joked that if he was going to be the one to marry them, he might as well try to look the part as much as possible. 

Wanda looked adorable as well, in a long light grey sundress. She was joined by an older looking blond man in light grey as well. It took a second to remember that this was Vision in what he called his ‘human disguise’. Wanda was also carrying a small camera, since she’d volunteered to take photos of the event.

Thanks to his training, he took all of this in in a fraction of a second before his attention was solely on Steve again. Honestly he never wanted to look away from him again for the rest of his life if he could help it.

Sam took his place and gestured for everyone else to do the same. Steve walked over to Bucky and took his hand. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey yourself. You look amazing,” Bucky whispered back as they all took their places in front of Sam.

“So do you,” Steve said as he brought their entwined hands to his lips to give Bucky’s a kiss. Neither of them were willing to let go of the other, which was more than fine with Bucky.

Sam cleared his throat to bring everyone’s attention to him. “This evening, we’re here to witness the union of two people who have been through more than most of us here can ever truly grasp or understand. I’m not just talking about the war or the business with Hydra, either. They grew up in a time where it was illegal for them to even be together, much less consider marriage. Yet despite all of that, here they are. They’re possibly the most in love couple I’ve ever seen in my life.

“When they told me that, not only did they finally get their shit together, but were actually getting married, I wasn’t totally shocked. Caught off guard at how quickly it all happened more than anything else. I expected at least a few more years of pining, to be totally honest. But I’m happy for them. If anyone deserves a happy ending, its the two of them.”

Sam looked at Steve and Bucky in turn. “Bucky, you wanted to exchange vows first, right?”

Bucky nodded, and gripped Steve’s hands a little tighter. “Yes. We all know how good Steve is at giving speeches, he’s an impossible act to follow.” Everyone chuckled at that, and Steve gave a small squeeze of his hand back as he smiled at Bucky.

Bucky took a deep breath as he began. “One of the first real memories to come back to me of Steve was the two of us sitting in a park. Steve was just sitting there, drawing who knows what. Honestly he was always drawing, it was rare to find him without a pencil in his hands or behind his ear. Anyway, he was sitting there drawing with a little smile on his face. That was the moment I realized I was in love with Steve. I was in love with everything about him, even the stuff I hated, like him finding every little injustice in the world to fight. It was what made Steve who he was, and without it neither of us would be here today.

“Steve,” Bucky said, looking him straight in the eye. “That’s one thing I want you to always remember. I loved you when you too sick to get out of bed, but you tried anyway because you were too stubborn to stay still for five seconds. I loved you when you were the boy who saw all the wrong in the world and tried to single-handedly fix it. I loved you when you finally got the body to fit that fighting spirit and that too big heart. I loved you when I didn’t even know what love was, or even who I was. I love you, Steve Rogers.

“It almost seems pointless to promise to be together through rich and poor, sickness and health, death do us part, because we’ve done all that, and were still here, together. So, I’m not going to promise something we’ve both proven to each other over and over. But I will promise to keep loving you everyday, for the rest of our lives, and beyond that too.”

Bucky gently let go of one of Steve’s hands to wipe away a tear that had fallen on Steve’s cheek.

Sam, who looked a little teary-eyed himself, looked over to Steve. “Steve?”

“Wow, Buck. Talk about a tough act to follow.” There was light laughter and Bucky looked down shyly for a second and shrugged.

“When I woke up in the 21st century, I was so utterly lost. Not just because everything was so completely different, but you weren’t there with me. You’d been a constant practically my entire life, and I didn’t know who I was without by my side. I tried my hardest to figure it out, and I think I did a decent job, all things considered. But it still didn’t feel exactly right. It was like there was a void I couldn’t completely fill, no matter what I tried.

“Then, suddenly, you weren’t gone anymore. It happened in the worst way possible, and I hated myself for it, but I was happy. Not because of what you’d been through, but because it meant I had a chance to have my friend back.

“Of course, that wasn’t the way it worked out at first, and I understand why now. I won’t lie that it hurt at the time though, just a little bit. But I was willing to give you the time and space you needed to heal, and if you never came back, well, at least you were alive. That was all that mattered.

“I hate that it seems all our reunions always seem to happen because something horrible is happening to you. I really hope that’s not a trend that continues. But history seemed to repeat itself, and I came so close to losing you yet again.

“But, through some miracle, I didn’t. This time, not only did I not lose you, I got to have something I’d wanted ever since I knew what it was to want. 

“Bucky, I love you. As much as I want to promise we’ll never be separated again, it’s an impossible promise to make. I will promise that, for as long as I live, I will never take your presence in my life for granted again. I know who I am and what life is like without you in it, and it pales in comparison to what my life is like now. I promise to treat every day I have with you as a gift, one I will cherish with all of my being for as long as we’ll live.”

At the end of Steve’s vows there wasn’t a dry eye left.

Sam wiped at his cheek and said, “Shuri, Natasha. You two have the rings?”

They both nodded, and Sam continued, “James Buchanan Barnes, do you take Steven Grant Rogers as your husband?”

“Yes,” Bucky nodded as Steve slipped a beautiful silver looking ring on his left hand that, as promised, fit perfectly on the ring finger of his prosthetic arm.

“Steven Grant Rogers, do you take James Buchanan Barnes as your husband?”

“Yes, I do.” Steve said as Bucky slipped a similar looking ring on Steve’s left ring finger.

“With this exchange of vows and rings, I hereby pronounce you married.”

Steve let go of Bucky’s hand to cup his face and pull Bucky in for a chaste kiss as their friends clapped and cheered. 

“I love you,” Bucky whispered into Steve’s lips.

“I love you,” Steve whispered back, and they kissed once again.

*

After, they went back to where Shuri was staying for an after wedding dinner, since she was the only one who had a room big enough for all seven to fit comfortably. Keeping in the theme, it wasn’t anything fancy, just take out from various local restaurants, but there was enough food to feed a small army. Which meant, thanks to his and Steve’s super soldier metabolism, most of the food was gone fairly quickly.

The only thing that hadn’t been purchased locally was the cake. It wasn’t huge, but it was three tiered and decorated with white buttercream and dark blue to match what Steve and Bucky were wearing. Inside was the best chocolate cake Bucky had ever tasted in his life.

“Oh my god, Nat, where did you get this cake?” Bucky moaned as he took another giant bite.

“I made it,” she shrugged.

“You bake?” Wanda seemed surprised, and if Bucky was being honest, so was he.

“Sometimes. Only when I’m in the mood for it.”

“You should try her apple pie, it’s amazing,” Steve said between bites.

“Stevie, I thought you hated apple pie.”

“Not when she makes it. I don’t know what she does, but it tastes amazing.”

“It’s the crust,” Nat explained. “I’d tell you how I make it, but I’d have to kill you after.”

“You made Captain America an apple pie. Why am I not surprised by that,” Shuri laughed.

Nat just smirked. 

“You know, Nat, you might think about opening a bakery, because this really is an amazing cake,” Sam said.

“Nah. Baking is my way to unwind and relax. I don’t want to ruin that.”

Sam nodded. “Gotcha. But you’re gonna have to make this cake for me again, because _damn_.”

“I used to think she only baked something when she found it funny. Like the pie. She made that for my first birthday out of the ice.”

“Steve, you were born on America’s birthday. You’re literally the face of America. You are literally the most _American_ American ever, I couldn’t not.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve said as he threw a napkin at her. 

She stuck out her tongue and threw the napkin back. “Plus, you were so mopey at the time, at the very least I thought it would make you laugh, which it did.”

Steve conceded the point with a shrug and a smile.

Bucky scooted a little closer to Steve and gave his hand a little squeeze. He knew Steve hadn’t coped very well when he’d first been found, but it still hurt to think about.

Once dessert was finished everyone mostly relaxed and caught up with each other, until Wanda let out a giant yawn she couldn’t seem to help.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I guess the day is hitting me harder than I expected it too,” she said as she let out another yawn.

Steve looked down at his phone to check the time. “Oh, wow, I didn’t realize it was so late.” He got up and stretched, then attempted to start to clean up, until he was stopped by Sam.

“Steve, no. This is your wedding night. Go be with Bucky, we’ve got this.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Nat nodded. “Go. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Steve looked over at Bucky, who just shrugged. “All right, if you’re sure.”

“We’re sure,” Shuri added. 

“Okay. Thank you all so much for all of this,” Steve said, and proceeded to give Sam and Nat giant hugs. “You two are the best, honestly.”

“Oh, stop, you’re making me blush,” Nat said as she gave Steve a little push. “Seriously, go enjoy your wedding night.”

Bucky gave Shuri a hug of her own. “Thank you. I don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“I think you would have been. It might have taken you longer, but it would have happened eventually. All I did was give you a little push.”

“Still, I owe you.”

She gave a little smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Wanda came over and gave both Steve and Bucky giant hugs. “Thank you for inviting us. It was great to see you both again.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Wanda, okay?”

“I’ll try not to be.”

Vision, who had been fairly quiet most of the evening, stepped forward holding a small envelope. “I’m not sure if you’ll accept this, but I have a gift from Mr. Stark, for both of you.”

Bucky eyebrows rose, Stark was the last person he’d expected to receive anything from.

Steve took the envelope, “What is it?”

“I’m not sure, but he asked me to give it to you. He didn’t say much else about it. He did want me to send his congratulations as well, though.” 

Steve looked over at Bucky, who just shrugged. Maybe this was Stark’s way of extending an olive branch.

“Tell him thank you from both us.”

Vision nodded, and took Wanda’s arm as they both walked out.

*

Bucky wasn’t quite sure what woke him at first, until he turned over and found the other side of the bed empty.

“Steve?”

“Out here,” came a voice from the balcony.

Bucky slipped into a pair of boxers and a shirt, then followed the voice outside where he found Steve sat on one of the patio chairs looking at the envelope from Stark.

“Stevie,” he said as he sat in the chair next to him. “Come back to bed.”

Steve shook his head. “I can’t stop thinking about this. Part of me wants to open it, but I don’t want to read what’s inside. Why now, why like this?”

“Well, I don’t know. Can’t say I really know Stark. We’ve never really interacted, outside of him trying to kill me and all that.”

Steve sighed.

“You don’t have to open it, you know. You can just throw it away, pretend it doesn’t exist. No one would blame you,” Bucky tried to reassure Steve. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how he himself felt about accepting a gift from Stark, but this wasn’t just about him.

“I would.”

Bucky nodded. “I know you would. Do you want me to open it?”

“No. No, I’ll do it.”

Bucky scooted the chair over to lean his head on Steve’s shoulder. 

They stayed like that for a while, Steve just staring at the envelope, and Bucky silently trying to comfort him the best he could. 

Eventually Steve gave the top of Bucky’s head a kiss, and took a deep breath before finally opening the envelope.

Inside was a single sheet of paper, as well as a key. They both looked at the key for a second before Steve put it down in favor of the letter.

>   
>  _Consider this both a wedding present and an apology._
> 
> _-Tony_  
> 

There was also an address, which when looked up showed that it belonged to a rental cabin in Acadia National Park.

Bucky gave a low whistle. “Damn, Steve, this place has a private beach. This must have cost Stark a pretty penny, especially on such short notice.”

Steve just stared at the screen, as if not really seeing it.

“Like I said, we don’t have to accept this. We can send the key back.”

“No. This… this is Tony actually trying, Buck. This is how he shows he cares. Maybe… maybe things aren’t as broken between us as I first thought. For all his flaws, he is a good man.”

Bucky just nodded. He had his own opinions on both Starks, but he knew this wasn’t the time or place to say anything. 

“If you don’t feel comfortable, though, we don’t have to accept it,” Steve said, looking at Bucky to reassure him in return.

“Steve, it’s a free stay at a cabin with private beach access. I’m not going to say no to something as nice as that, no matter who it comes from. Plus, if you say it’s coming from a good place, I have to trust you on that.”

Steve nodded, and seemed to be a little more at ease than he had since Vision had given them the envelope. He smiled, stood up, and held a hand out to Bucky. “Come on, Mr. Rogers, I do believe it’s still our wedding night.”

“Why, Mr. Barnes, I think you’re right. Got any plans,” Bucky replied as he took Steve’s hand and stood up.

Steve pulled him into a deep kiss. “I just might, Mr. Rogers, I just might.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue will be posted later tonight!


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a honeymoon and a happily ever after.

They didn’t go to the cabin right away. It wasn’t because they were avoiding it or anything since it really would be silly to say no to a free stay cabin with private beach access. But before that they’d still wanted to explore a little more of Maine first.

Stark had apparently accounted for whatever plans they might have had, since the rental period extended to the end of the year. Not that they planned stay that long, but it was nice to know they had plenty of time to just relax and really celebrate the rest of their honeymoon in peace.

The pictures on the website didn’t do the place any sort of justice. The two story cabin was right on the water and had amazing views of the waterfront. Stark really had gone all out when he picked this place.

For the first couple days they hadn’t wandered too far from the cabin. The place was spacious, and more importantly, had some really fantastic beds. And countertops. And tables. If Bucky didn’t know any better he would think the furniture had been reinforced, since not even the dining room chairs seemed to give way during some pretty vigorous activities. 

This evening, though, their plans didn’t involve staying in. No, tonight they were going to do something Bucky had wanted to do since he was a kid. It was supposed to be the peak of the Perseid meteor shower, and he was determined to stay up all night to see all of it. There would be no parents to nag them about going to bed, no war to cut the excitement of staying under the stars all night with fear, it would just be them and the stars.

“Come on, Steve, let’s go!” Bucky might have bounced up and down on his feet just a little bit, but he wouldn’t never admit it to anyone.

“Bucky, calm down, they aren’t going anywhere! It’s not even time yet!” Steve laughed as he grabbed the cooler that held their dinner for that evening.

“So? I can’t help it, I’m excited!”

“Channel that excitement and come take the blanket.”

Bucky gave a little salute, took the blanket from Steve’s hand, then bolted out from the cabin to look for the perfect spot to get comfortable for the evening. Something not too close to the water, but close enough to still be able to enjoy the breeze off the ocean and the sound of the waves. They were really lucky, it was a cloudless and a rather cool evening for the time of year. It was cool enough that they’d decided to forego shorts and wear long pants instead.

Just as he placed the blanket down Steve arrived with the rest of their things, smiling but shaking his head at Bucky’s anctics. “You’re ridiculous, you know that, right?”

Bucky smiled. “Yes, but you still love me.”

“God help me, but I really do,” Steve responded with a kiss. “Now, come on, help me get the food out, I’m starving.”

“You know, I think this might be the best idea I’ve ever had,” Bucky said as he opened the cooler start setting everything out.

“What idea is that?”

“Eating on the beach while the sun sets. I mean, look at this view Stevie, and that fresh air! I love New York, don’t get me wrong, but you can’t get air this fresh there.”

“It’s nice, I’ll admit. New York air will always smell like home, though.”

“You’re not wrong. A stinky home, but home nonetheless.”

Dinner passed mostly in silence, just the two of them enjoying the peace and quiet of the beach around them.

“I think, when we get back home, I want to paint this,” Steve said a little later as they watched the sky turn from blue to orange.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. All of these colors, it’s got me itching for a brush again. Makes me want to capture this moment forever.”

“I’m glad, Stevie. I can’t wait to see it,” Bucky smiled, overjoyed at the fact Steve actually wanted to paint something, but trying to keep his excitement at the progress from overwhelming Steve.

Soon enough, orange gave way to black and the stars were on full display. Bucky wasn’t sure if the stars actually looked different out here, or if his eyesight was really enhanced that much, but he swore he could make out more details in the night sky then he was used to. If it was the latter, then it was one of the few good things that came from his time with Hydra.

Shortly after nightfall, the real show began. Bucky had settled on his back, using Steve’s leg as a pillow, and watched as the stars streaked overhead. Even this was more spectacular than he remembered it being. The sky was lit up as the stars seemed to race across, lulling Bucky into a sort of trance, until one meteor, biggest he’d seen so far that night, streaked across the sky.

Bucky pointed up at the sky. “Stevie, look at that one,” he whispered, awed by the sight.

Steve looked up and let out a small gasp. “Oh, wow.”

“Have you ever made a wish on one, before?” Steve asked a little while later, as he carded his fingers through Bucky’s hair.

“Hmmm?” Bucky asked, half asleep.

“Have you ever made a wish on a shooting star?”

Bucky blinked away the sleepiness and smiled up at Steve. “Once, a long time ago.”

“Did it ever come true?”

Bucky sat up and faced Steve. “Yeah, it did. It took a long time, but it did.”

And as Bucky kissed Steve under the stars, he would be forever grateful that it had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this wraps up my fic for the [Captain America Reverse Big Bang](https://capreversebb.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> I want to give another HUGE thank you to the artist of the three amazing pieces for this fic, Queerily_kai, because if it wasn't for them, and this last piece specifically, this fic wouldn't exist at all. I was so inspired when I saw this piece and I'm so glad I was able to claim it. Thank you again for making this an enjoyable experience!
> 
> I also want to thank everyone who has read, gave kudos, or left reviews. I'm so grateful for the feedback I've received for this so far, especially since this is the first thing I've written in three years. You guys have been so sweet.


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